all ripped off their tops, revealing bare breasts ornamented with gold pasties. Across all of their stomachs the words LOCAL NOT LULU! had been written in black paint.
A cacophony of horns blared and the protesters went absolutely fucking nuts. I was crying and jumping up and down, yelling with joy, completely carried away. A burlesque girl pulled two cans of spray paint out of a backpack. Artemis grabbed them, tossing one to me. Instinctively I shook my can, and we both ripped the caps off.
“Come on,” Artemis said as she stepped toward the glass front windows of the store. She gave me her hugest grin. With the crowd cheering us on, I didn’t hesitate. I raised my can of spray paint and began to write: LULU OUT!
I could see Artemis spraying, KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD!
The act of spray-painting the windows of Lululemon in broad daylight with a crowd cheering me on was more liberating than anything that’s ever happened to me in my life. It felt like a wonderful dream, as if Wonder Woman and a troop of fairies would fly out in a moment and crown me and Artemis Co-Queens of the Motherfucking World.
The police car must have pulled up without a siren. I didn’t even realize at first who had grabbed me from behind. I just knew someone had both my arms pinned to my sides—I heard Artemis’s voice screaming “ROOOXXXXYYYY!”—and in my panic I fought like holy hell, kicking and thrashing and screaming. By the time one of the cops came around into my field of vision I’d already managed to kick one, and I think I might have butted another in the nose with the back of my head. The protesters all around were shouting on my behalf. “Artemis!” I yelled. But when I looked around I didn’t see her in the crowd. As the cops wrestled my hands behind my back and put handcuffs on me, I could hear someone screaming, inexplicably, “We are the ninety-nine percent!”
I scanned the line of protesters. I saw you and Nadia and Annie—who must have returned without Topher Doyle around the time the dance started. I saw my friends from college, and Jason and Nelson, and the burlesque girls. I saw my old pals from Barton Springs and ThunderCloud Subs. All of them yelling and shaking their signs and looking concerned on my behalf. So much support. So many people I love in this growing, changing town.
But where the hell was Artemis?
I kept scanning the crowd until the cops turned me around and walked me toward a police car. One of them pushed my head down so that I’d be forced to step into the back of the cruiser. The last thing I heard before the door slammed behind me was Annie yelling, “We’ll get you out, Roxy!”
At the station the cops took my mug shot and fingerprinted me, then said I could make one phone call before they put me in the cell. Just when I decided I would call my parents, I remembered they were in Peru at their phone-free, internet-free eco-lodge. I started to panic. The police had taken my cell phone and I didn’t have anyone else’s phone number memorized. But Annie had yelled that she’d come for me, so I decided I’d just sit tight and hope she followed through. I mean, everyone I know had seen me be arrested. Surely at least one of them would try to help.
The officer walked me down to a holding cell. At the push of a button the doors opened. I stepped inside as all the women looked up at me. The cell doors clanked shut behind me. The holding cell was about what one might expect: concrete floors, bars, and three metal picnic table–style benches bolted to the floor—which was ironic as this place had nothing else even remotely picnic-y about it.
The women at the benches looked like life had knocked the stuffing out of them. Several sat with their heads down on the table. One lady with dirty hair lay passed out on a bench. Everyone was surprisingly subdued, though one older woman let out an occasional moan and said, “My daughter-in-law is going to kill me!” Another woman wept quietly in the corner, her head in her hands. My heart was a turmoil of feelings as I paced the room. It had been so amazing to have so many people show up for my cause. But what a crazy and disastrous ending to it all!