passed around to the highest bidder at Snowden’s parties.”
The muscles of Forest’s jaw tick at the mention of Snowden. That man no longer walks the world of the living, but not before nearly destroying Forest, and the ones he loves, in the process.
“You’d be surprised how much those men talk when their guard is down. She’s aware of more than she knows, and now we know just what she’s capable of when pushed.”
“No fucking way are you putting her in danger. She’s not ready.”
I’m not sure why I phrase it like that. It’s not that she’s not ready. Moira will never be ready for something like that. It’s insane and so far out there, I can’t believe we’re talking about it. My fingers curl, and the pulse in my neck jumps. A roaring rushes past my ears as my blood heats. Forest will likely kick my ass, but I’m willing to throw down with him.
For Moira, I’ll do anything.
“While I realize you’re all manly men, has it occurred to any of you Neanderthals that we could simply ask?” Mitzy cuts through the tension with her lilting voice, but it does nothing to change my thoughts.
“Moira’s not doing it.” I stand by my word.
“Says the Neanderthal.” Mitzy blows out a breath and flips her hair out of her eyes. She’s growing out the pixie cut and I notice for the first time she has bangs. They fall right back in her face. “Did you see what she did to…”
“No.”
“No?” Max’s brow arches. “I thought you reviewed the body cam footage.”
“I read the reports. That was enough.” I didn’t want to watch the tapes because there’s a part of me hoping Moira will one day confide in me. I want my reactions to be genuine, realistic, and not forewarned by the video.
“Griff, you really need to look at the tapes.”
I cross my arms, digging in my heels. “Doesn’t matter. Moira isn’t a Guardian. She’s not equipped for a mission like that. Find another way.” With that, I’ve had enough.
The rest of my team is getting in a few rounds at the range. Right about now, I feel like shooting shit, or blowing shit up. There are still a few hours before I’m due to pick Moira up, and I need to clear my head before then.
Send Moira out?
What the fuck is Forest thinking?
Twenty-Six
Moira
Like thorns digging their way out from inside of me, telling Zoe about those few days on the ship pierce, stab, and rip with an unrelenting fury.
I wish I could say my experience made me harder and more resilient, but the memories make me shake uncontrollably and send a flood of tears pouring from my eyes. The salty essence coats my lips and flows into my mouth, no matter how hard I press my lips together, trying to keep it out.
I didn’t think talking about it would bring back the shakes, or that fluttering feeling in my gut that feels like a free fall into hell. A calming breath draws in the early evening air, flooding my nasal passages with the smell of salt, sea, and brine. Those flavors combine with my tears, coating my tongue, to make me gag. It’s too reminiscent of sitting in that hole between the cargo containers where all I could smell was metal mixed with the briny sea.
I rock, arms clasped around my shins, chin propped on my knees, and sob. A river of tears flow out of me as my entire body shakes. When I close my eyes, the grisly visage of Bossman’s dead eyes stares back at me, damning me for my sins and judging me for the life I took. Doesn’t matter that it was me or him, taking a life changed me. I’m weaker now, more fragile. The tenuous hold I keep on my emotions is a weakened, frayed thing.
“Oh, Moira…” Zoe sits beside me, lending me her strength.
Her fingers push back my long, blond curls, sweeping them off my cheeks, but they cling to the mess of tears streaming down my face. My only friend, I bare my soul to her because she understands the fear and hopelessness I experienced. She faced her own death, not once but twice. We share that horror as well.
“I’m a murderer.” I curl in my lower lip, biting hard to keep my teeth from chattering. “I don’t know why I’m so cold, but I feel dead inside.”
“You know that’s not true. You’re not a murderer. You acted in self-defense and feeling dead inside