look up at him, there’s a glimmer in his eyes. His jaw opens slightly as if he wants to say more, but then it slams shut as fury overtakes him. His entire body vibrates, resonating with that anger. I get it. He wants to make those men pay. Sadly, Four will never have that pleasure.
I killed them. I’m a murderer.
Slowly, I lower my head, overtaken with what’s happened. Disbelieving this is true.
I can’t be safe.
Yet I find myself rescued—again, by the same man who saved me well over a year ago in the Philippines. He’s someone I’ve slowly grown to love even as he distanced himself from what we both feel for each other.
In the darkest depths of my despair, I made myself a promise. I’m going to grab life by the horns and take what I want. I’m tired of being life’s punching bag. It’s my time.
However, reality sets in. That’s a promise I’ll fulfill later, not here. Not now. But I will take what’s mine.
I snuggle in, burying my face against his chest. My arms wrap around his neck, and I feel safe in his arms. My legs fold, knees pressing against my chest, until I curl into a tight ball. Four gathers me in his lap and holds me tight.
A deep breath inward draws his essence into my lungs, flooding my nasal passages with the memory of Four straining over me, teaching me, laughing with me as we wrestled during training. I breathe deeply, still in shock. It still hasn’t hit me, but I’m sure it will, and soon.
A slow breath out follows an even slower breath in.
I’m hanging on by a thread. I feel it like I’m one second from catastrophic collapse.
I peek up at him and meet his steady gaze as he looks down at me. A silent, bolstering presence, he’s my rock. Four is the voice that got me through the darkest moments. My toes curl as I struggle to piece everything together. It’s an innocuous thing, me curling my toes, but there’s something about it which releases the floodgates.
I survived.
I killed a man and orchestrated another’s murder, but I survived.
When I tense, Four’s grip tightens. His body heat sinks into me as I shiver for the first time.
So cold.
I’m so very cold.
I’m safe.
Four’s large hand cups the back of my head. His fingers thread between the gnarled mess that is my hair. He tries to pull through the tangles, but that’s not happening. His chest lifts and rises with a defeated sigh.
“I found you.”
I tilt my head to regard him, like really take a look at the gruff man holding me in his arms.
Four’s a fierce warrior. There’s little that’s pretty about him, definitely nothing soft. His features are coarse, a nose broken one too many times, a square jaw that’s a little too big, a little too square, but damn if he doesn’t have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.
Deep violet, they’re almost black, unless you really stop to take a look. And when I do, they make my skin heat and send shivers racing down my spine. Thick lashes cap the dark violet of his eyes, and when he blinks, they sweep across his coarse cheekbones like feathers.
He holds my stare but blinks first. What does he see when he looks at me? Does he see a tragic little girl? The abused woman who’s been shattered and broken too many times to count? Or does he see my strength and resilience? My ability to keep on living even when all I want is to embrace death?
I don’t know what he sees, but when he looks back at me, I get the first glimpse of what I’ve been waiting for. He wants me. This is no ordinary rescue for him. Four has feelings for me.
I don’t care about stupid Guardian policies; I’ve had enough of keeping my hands to myself. The first chance I get…
What? What are you going to do?
Well, shit if I know! Jumping his bones comes to mind. One bone, in particular, interests me the most.
You sure about that?
Shut up!
What I want frightens me.
Like most trafficked children, I come from a home devoid of love and lacking in the most basic supervision. Dad left at five. Mom spent her life high, or chasing the next high, until she finally crashed and burned.
Love is an abstract concept for me. It’s not something I understand because I’ve never experienced it. Whatever this is that I feel for Four… Is that love?
I