it didn’t make sense because she got pregnant and left. She didn’t even want her, didn’t try to trade her to me. Nothing.”
“Maybe she did trick you, planning to go to Collins all along but Perkins found out first and made her a deal she couldn’t walk away from.”
“I don’t know.”
I look up at him. “Only one way to find out.”
He eyes me. “He’s not my father, Raven.”
“I know, and he’s gone, just so you know. I made him leave, told him he could only come back if you asked him to directly, so packman, yet again it’s on your shoulders to open up the conversation.”
His hand comes up and he runs his thumb across my cheek. “Always pushing me to be stronger.”
“Not stronger,” I whisper. “Certain. I want you to want to share who you are and what’s going on in your head. You sit back, you study, you discover, but you don’t volunteer anything past the eye.”
“Neither do you.”
“I’m different. I don’t have to say it. What you see is what you get.”
He shakes his head. “Nobody could ever look at you and see all you are. How could they when you don’t see it in yourself?”
I look away, but he draws my eyes back to his.
“I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“Go see Zoey.”
My face goes slack, and I start to shake my head but stop when he begs.
“Please. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen her. I can’t FaceTime her, not until these fucking tubes are out and I can put a real shirt on at least. She might only be shy of three, but she’s intuitive.”
“Like her daddy,” I whisper.
His grip tightens. “Please do this.”
“She doesn’t even know me, Cap.”
“She will. I need her to feel wanted. She will if you show up wanting to play with her. Please.”
Not wanting to disappoint him, I start to agree when Royce suddenly appears.
“I want to do it.”
Our heads snap toward him, and a small smile takes over my lips.
His eyes are sloped at the edges as he stares at his brother.
“Hey, man,” Cap says.
Royce nods, smashing his lips to the side as he steps closer. “Oh, we’re bright-eyed today huh, fucker?” he teases. “And still as pretty as a Ken doll, brother. Even in the fucked up looking rag they’ve got on ya.” He grins.
Cap starts to chuckle, but it cuts off on a hiss. He picks up a little button thing at his side and presses it.
“What is that?” I ask him.
“Nurse said it releases medicine when I push it, but it won’t allow me to overdo it.”
I nod, looking to the IV drip beside him.
Royce leans over, kissing my forehead, then pushes his forehead against Captain’s before he stands.
“You need something?” Royce asks him.
Cap nods, the corner of his lips lifting.
“Let me go see Zoey,” Royce says. “She met me already. I can play ball with her, show her some pics of you on my phone or something.”
“Royce hasn’t left since you got here,” I tell Captain.
“I could use the fresh air, and I’m pretty sure I’m her new favorite anyway.”
Captain shakes his head goodheartedly, then reaches out to grip his hand. “She’d love that. Maybe Maddoc will go with you?”
When Royce’s glare shifts over Cap’s head, Cap looks to me wearily.
“What?” he draws out slowly.
“We haven’t seen him since he walked out of the school that day. We can’t find him.”
Captain’s stare flies to Royce who avoids my eyes.
He licks his lips, running his hand down his mouth quickly. “Yeah, we uh, everyone’s looking for him.”
Captain’s head drops back against the pillow and he nods.
His blinks get slower, longer, and I know he’s about to knock out again, so I hit the nurse’s call switch.
She enters right as the grip of Cap’s fingers lessens, his hand falling to my side.
I gently shift to stand, my eyes narrowing on Royce who scratches the back of his head as he steps back.
“Royce.”
“If I go, you need to make sure you stay here. We can’t both leave him here.”
“Royce.”
“And here.” He continues to ignore me, pulling a phone from his pocket, pushing it into my chest. “I’m tired of not being able to call you when I need to.”
“I don’t want to be reachable at all times.”
This time his eyes slice to mine. “Too fucking bad, Raven,” he growls in my face. “You wanna run off, handle shit without me, with Bass fucking Bishop, fucking fine. Do your thing, but you’ll do it where I can at