sense of belonging that irks my fucking nerves.
Captain steps up alongside me, and Maddoc’s head jerks this way, eyes covered with those damn glasses I forgot how much I hated until recently.
“What’s wrong?” Cap asks.
When I don’t respond right away, Captain’s stare slides to the table, then back to me. “He doesn’t want her, Raven.”
I can’t help it, a laugh bubbles out of me.
Man, this is some fucked up shit – my new future telling me his brother doesn’t want the girl who has taken the seat I gave up without a fight.
What choice did I have, though, really?
Donley has sent a text straight to Captain’s cell every couple days where he makes sure to mention Zoey. Sometimes it’s in a roundabout way, like how she enjoys ice cream, and then Cap will call Maria and sure enough, Zoey had a cone earlier that day.
I tried to convince him to go get her, to say fuck you to everyone around. We’re doing our part he deserves his daughter and needs to feel her safety, but Captain refuses. He says he doesn’t want to uproot her yet when she’d be forced to leave all she’s known and move into a hotel where she doesn’t even have her own space. He wants to bring her home, but when he has a home ready for her, so the transition is smooth and doesn’t confuse her.
We both know Donley is only doing this to make sure we keep up as agreed, and there’s been no true threat as far as harm or danger to her. That would be a completely different story.
Regardless, we’re doing what was asked.
Zoey is safe.
Maddoc is here, where he belongs.
“Raven,” Cap tries again.
I turn to him.
“I know things feel fucked right now, and I won’t stand here and pretend they’re not, but you were meant for this.”
“Stop doing that.” I glare.
His brows jump in confusion. “Doing what?”
“Stop acting like you didn’t give up your life for mine,” I force past clenched teeth. “Something I never would have asked you to do. Stop acting like I won’t fuck this up. Stop telling me I was meant for this. I’m a fucked-up stoner with two chips on her shoulder. I’m a fucking shit storm waiting to happen.”
“You can do this.”
“I will crack. I will hurt you, and I will hate myself.”
Captain steps up to me, his palms finding my cheeks as he holds my head up, forcing my eyes to his.
He opens his mouth, but he doesn’t get to speak.
Shouting starts behind us and Royce calls for him in a panic.
I spin just in time to see Maddoc throw his fist across Leo’s face, then quickly slam a chair into Collins’ back.
“Fuck,” rushes from Captain as he runs for the mess, but he doesn’t have to stop him.
The second Captain’s hand hits Maddoc’s shoulder he yanks free, drops the second chair he’s picked up and storms for the exit... the one I’m standing in the middle of.
He stops right in front of me, his heavy breathing fanning across my face.
A deep divot takes form between his brows, the vein in his jaw ticking hard against the skin.
Show me those eyes, Big Man.
He does.
He yanks the glasses from his face and everything inside me crumbles, bone after bone shatters and I have no idea how I’m still standing.
He senses it, and the strain in his eyes mirrors mine.
Pain.
Need.
Inability to have.
Our new reality.
He pushes past, but not before giving a quick whisper that stings harder than any cut.
“I changed my mind.”
Changed his mind...
“He can’t have you.”
I... oh God.
No...
“I’ll fix this, baby, just hold home.”
And then he’s gone.
My vision grows foggy, my muscles giving way, but before I can fall, an arm is through mine, holding me up.
“Stand up straight,” Victoria hisses, slowly turning and leading me into the hall.
“What the hell did I do?”
She pushes me against the wall to steady me, her eyes roaming over my face with a tight frown. “What do you mean?”
When I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head, she hits my shoulders against the wall and they fly open.
“Are you okay?” She eyes me.
My body grows even heavier, and I look away. “What’s that even mean anymore?”
“Raven,” she snaps.
“I’m fine, Vee,” I answer, rubbing my temples. “Just... a headache.”
Royce and Captain join us in the next second, deep frowns on both their faces.
Royce slides my way, wrapping an arm around my waist. He’s nonchalant about it but takes my weight as he intended. He leans over to whisper,