are hidden behind dark lenses, his face smooth, mouth closed in a tired, lazy line.
So much effort to look so careless.
“You’re shaking.” Cap’s words waft across my skin and I drag my eyes to his.
My throat starts to close, heat spreading across my face as I attempt to squash the sudden anger boiling. An emptiness forms at the base of my ribs, and I almost bend to erase it.
Captain’s eyes move between mine.
More worry.
No.
“Do it,” I rasp, swallowing past the clog in my throat, trying for air that won’t come.
He keeps staring.
“You wanted words, Captain.” I scowl. “Everyone is around, everyone is watching. We can confirm this right now.”
“Raven—”
“I said do it.”
Captain tugs me closer. He’s mad. “You don’t want this. You’re doing this because you’re pissed off and hurt and it’s the first time you’ve laid eyes on him since he asked you to walk away from him, since you did.”
I jerk against his hold, but his tight grip makes it unnoticeable to the prying eyes.
Maddoc spots it though, his brows disappearing under his frames.
I move my eyes back to Cap. “I was asking you to kiss me before he got here. Don’t I have the right? I’ll be your wife in three months, forever fucking you in four. I should have your mouth on mine anytime I want.”
“If I kiss you right now, he will never be able to erase it. He’ll lie awake at night, like I’m bettin’ he has the last several, and play out every move he anticipates we’ll make. He’ll think about the ways you touched him and how you’ll touch me. He’ll think about the things you liked him to do and how I’ll learn of the same. You make me kiss you right now, Raven, and those fucked up fears become his fucked-up reality. They won’t only keep him up at night, but they’ll follow him with every step.”
“That’s the thing, Cap,” I whisper, forcing my arms around his neck.
His forehead tightens, and in my peripheral, I notice Royce drops his eyes to the gravel.
“This is our reality now, and he knows it.” I push to my tippy toes and align my lips with his. “You know your brother, acknowledge what he’s doing. He took a few days to process and now he’s back. He brought her here. He’s being strong.” I swallow, then whisper, “Show him you can be, too.”
Captain’s palm slides up my back, his fingers sprawling out across my spine. His eyes are heavy with guilt, his jaw set in anger. He slides his lips across my cheek to my ear as his other hand comes up to sink in my hair.
“No,” he whispers. “Not yet, and not here. Our touching, eye contact, and private conversation is enough for now, but if you have to hold me tighter when you see him or if you need a connection when you feel you’ve lost one, you take what you want from me and I’ll give in return, ten fucking fold. But only for you.” He strokes my hair, kissing my temple. “Not for the sake of anyone else.”
His words hit hard, and shame follows.
His concern is me, and I’m not giving him the same. This is hard for him too. He’s admitted to feeling like he fucked his brother, more and more with every day that passes and every move he makes and I’m over here forcing his hand.
So, I do as he said, laugh it off and move back a step. I force myself to grab his hand and the others take it as their cue to move toward us.
The six of us walk for the entrance with our heads held high knowing every eye around is locked on us.
The six of us come to a screeching fucking halt when we spot Donley, Rolland, and Perkins waiting just inside the hall.
Victoria spins on her heels and heads right back outside, while the girl walking a step behind Maddoc slows. We keep forward.
Maddoc steps toward the three men. “The fuck is this?” he demands.
“Donley showed up, asking for a tour of the school,” Perkins announces as he glances around, then quietly adds, “And unlimited access to the surveillance, so I called your father.” His eyes slice toward Captain when he says it. “Seems I’m missing something.”
“Suddenly you’re on our side now?” Royce spits.
“There are no sides.” Donley grins, holding out his hands as he moves his smirk to me. “We’re all on the same team now. I’m simply... looking out