chest again.
I lift and slam my head back. It’s pointless, there’s no pain.
“I need to go make sure everyone gets paid,” Mac says before footsteps crunch against the ground.
I peel my eyes open, finding what looks a lot like a three-headed Bass fucking Bishop.
“I can barely fucking handle one of you, asshole,” I slur, my eyes closing again.
He scoffs, then a water bottle hits me in the shoulder.
I don’t reach for it. I’ll take the fucking hangover tomorrow. Wish for it.
“She’s lookin’ thinner, paler. I’ve tried to track when she’s eating, which is close to never when she’s in sight, but maybe she is behind closed doors.”
Behind closed doors with my brother.
“I didn’t ask for a report.”
“Nah, but you need one. You’re acting like a little bitch,” he says.
I jolt up, but the Macallan in me won’t allow it and my muscles give out.
Bishop sighs, then my legs are being pushed aside and a door slams.
After a few minutes my car starts rolling, and a few minutes after that, alcohol wins out.
I stay this way, fucked up, and delirious for the rest of Spring Break.
Fuck everybody.
“Where the fuck is he?” Captain snaps when Royce steps from the SUV without Maddoc. “I thought he agreed to be here?”
“He did. And he is.” Royce gives an emotionless stare.
“Where?” Cap asks.
Royce shrugs. “Truck. Fell asleep on the way here.”
“It’s a two-minute drive,” I say.
“Yeah, well.” Royce starts walking away. “Not like he’s getting any sleep at night.”
Cap glares, shaking his head. “That’s fucked up, man.”
Royce only shrugs, though. “Lots of shit’s fucked up.”
He pushes ahead, not bothering to wait for me, so we can walk into class together like normal.
Victoria steps in behind him, giving a nod over her shoulder before disappearing, too.
Cap looks to me, but I shake my head. “Go, I’m good.”
He doesn’t believe me, but he leaves anyway, glancing back once before he turns the corner.
I close my eyes and slide my headphones in, pushing myself against the door frame. I hit the little button without looking, skipping song after song until a more fitting one comes on, then I turn it up as loud as it can go.
“Hear Me Now” by Bad Wolves blares through my ears and I soak up every word, wishing I could fall into the world of the song. Wishing the world around me could be simpler.
It’s not.
It won’t be.
Five weeks. It’s been five weeks and the toll it’s taken on me weighs like five years. My body is sore for no reason, my head a constant war zone, and my drive is nonexistent.
It’s not right for me to act—
My thoughts are cut off when a familiar warmth grows closer, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut tighter. My breathing speeds up, coming and going in choppy spurts, broken gasps.
The back of a knuckle slides up my jaw, a fire trail following, both burning and soothing all at once. When he reaches my right earbud, he tugs, forcing it to fall out.
I bite into my tongue, my hands planting themselves against the wall behind me as he grows closer. I can feel him all around me now.
His fingertips brush my collarbone as he grips the wire, and I know he’s lifted it to his own ear to listen.
As the song comes to an end, he speaks.
“No, baby.” His words fan across my face. “I can’t hear you... not anymore.”
I let my head fall, and he tugs the other earbud from my ear, pulling on the string until the entire iPod slips from my pocket.
“I can’t do this,” he rasps, the sound so broken my throat closes in on me. “I don’t want to do this.”
My body grows cold as his disappears.
I slip, not bothering to try and lessen the blow as my ass hits the floor.
I stay there until Royce finally loses his cool, poking his head out and collecting me from the floor.
He says nothing, but his hug before he drags me in is more than enough.
Snagging the glasses from his collar, he slips them over my eyes, and we shuffle into the room.
My plan is not to speak to anyone the rest of the day, and it works for a while, but then it’s lunchtime.
I step around the corner, headed toward our usual table when my lack of self-control snaps, and right back where it belongs.
The Graven girl is back. She drops into what was my seat beside Maddoc. He doesn’t even look her way, but she smiles wide and puts off a