and he wished Carmella was somewhere else.
A knock interrupted before that thought became fully fledged. ‘Here you are. Benedetto. We’re waiting for you,’ Gabriella reprimanded in Italian.
Ben looked at his watch. He’d lost track of the time completely. ‘Sorry. I’ll be right there.’
He dropped a kiss on Katya’s shoulder, where the scrub top gaped and exposed the creamy skin. ‘Later,’ he murmured.
They were sitting on their terrace that evening, enjoying a candle-lit dinner, Ben listening as Katya excitedly relayed how she and Carmella had successfully managed to organise safe passage for the Mulgahti patient. The baby girl would be at the Lucia Clinic in two days.
‘Carmella is very busy. She’s been complaining for a while that she needs another staff member,’ he said, keeping his voice very matter-of-fact.
Katya stopped mid-chew. ‘Ben...’ she said, a slight warning in her voice.
‘Katya, it’s perfect.’
‘I don’t want to give up work,’ she said.
‘You won’t be. You’ll still be working. But you’ll get to sit instead of standing on your feet for hours. You’ll be able to eat regularly and take regular breaks.’
Katya looked at him, the candlelight throwing warm shadows on his dark features. He made the offer very attractive. Being on her feet all day was more tiring then she’d ever admit to him or even herself. Plus she’d be out of Ben’s company, too, which would be an easier transition for her when she had to leave in another couple of months.
It was time she started withdrawing a little. But...what if she missed being a surgical nurse?
Ben could see her wavering. ‘Look, just think about it for a few days, OK?’ He reached out placing his hand over hers.
She nodded slowly. ‘OK, I will.’
He grinned triumphantly and she shook her head at him and rolled her eyes and returned her concentration to the food on her plate. Now that she had told Ben all about her day, her thoughts returned to something that Carmella had said at one stage. It stewed away in her brain as she ate some of Taddeo’s gnocchi.
Ben noticed her getting quieter. ‘Penny for them,’ he said.
Katya glanced up toying with her food for a beat or two before eventually taking a bite. ‘It’s nothing,’ she said, after she’d chewed and swallowed.
‘Katya,’ he said gently, ‘you can tell me anything.’
Katya wasn’t so sure about that. But he seemed to believe it anyway. She took a deep breath. ‘I was just thinking about the girl who broke your heart. You never talk about her. Or Mario.’
Ben swallowed his mouthful of food, surprisingly without choking. This was not what he’d been expecting. ‘It was a long time ago,’ he dismissed abruptly.
Just as she’d thought. She felt a nagging sense of regret that Ben didn’t think he could talk to her about his feelings over his brother’s death and the mystery woman who had broken his heart. He knew all her secrets now, all about her dirt-poor background, her mother’s neglect and the incident with Sophia.
Surely he should be able to tell the woman he made love to every night some of his past too?
‘Mario’s death wasn’t.’
‘Katya.’
She held up her hand. ‘Carmella commented today that this was the happiest she’d seen you since Bianca. I didn’t even know that was her name. I guess I suddenly realised that I don’t know much about you. Your past, your secrets. It seems odd to be...’ Katya chose her words carefully. ‘Living with you and not know you.’
‘You know me.’
Katya shook her head, the candle flame dancing in the light breeze. ‘I know the man you were when we were with MedSurg is very different to the man you are here, in Italy. I mean...you are the man you are today because of the things that have happened in your past.’
And you can’t love me because of her.
‘I’d just like to be able to understand, that’s all.’
Ben could see her sincerity – he could feel it. She wasn’t asking out of some ghoulish curiosity, she genuinely wanted to understand what made him tick. He sighed.
‘It’s hard for me to talk about Bianca. Or Mario. I was angry for so long. And proud. And then they died. And I was ashamed that I had rejected any attempts at reconciliation. Mario had tried. Bianca had tried. Mamma had tried.’
Katya frowned. So Bianca had died, too? She was confused. Were his ex and his brother not two separate issues? ‘I’m sorry,’ Katya said. ‘Bianca is dead, too? Were their deaths linked?’
Ben gave a bitter laugh. ‘You could