the key to connecting Katya with her inner mother?
It had certainly helped to put things into perspective for him. He had been worrying deep down about the kind of father he would be. Bianca and Mario’s betrayal had soured him to the whole meaning of love and family. And a decade of freezing them out, ignoring their pleas for reconciliation, had made him doubt whether he was capable of either.
But seeing the ultrasound had been curiously empowering. The rush of feeling that had flooded through his gut and bubbled in his veins had been too powerful to ignore. This was the meaning of love - a grainy ultrasound image blinking on a screen.
He may have been immunised against the love between a man and a woman but his heart soared knowing he was capable of a different love.
The love of a father for his child.
They travelled to Ben’s villa after work that night, both lost in their own thoughts. Ben watched Katya go to her room and shut the door. After the high of seeing his son today her actions were depressing.
More than anything, tonight he wanted to hold her.
And it wasn’t about sex. He just wanted to lie beside her, pull her into him and cradle them - her and his baby. He was falling in love with the life they’d created and he wanted to share this time with her. Be as much a part of the baby growing inside her as possible.
He didn’t want to be kept on the outside. He wanted to be able to touch her belly freely, feel the baby move, lay his head against her bump when they were in bed together at night. And not have to worry about her stiffening or rejecting his moves or looking at him as if he’d violated some pact.
He rustled up a fruit and cheese platter as his mind mulled over how he could achieve his goal and still keep things platonic, which was her goal. He imagined laying his head against her stomach and not wanting to make love to her and knew there was no easy middle ground.
‘Katya,’ he called, knocking gently on her door. ‘I’ve fixed us something to eat.’
He heard her muffled reply and retreated to the terrace to wait for her. It was mid-November and the nights were much cooler. They wouldn’t be able to stay out for long. He took a sip of some local Chianti and felt it warm him through.
‘Mmm, this looks good,’ Katya said, approaching from behind and plucking a slice of apple from the selection as she picked up her glass of sparkling water.
Katya asked him about the budget meeting he had attended with the foundation’s financial directors that afternoon after the ultrasound. He was still wearing the suit and he looked sexy and powerful and it was taking all her willpower not to flirt.
Or touch.
‘The ultrasound was pretty amazing,’ Ben commented lightly after a few minutes of financial talk.
Katya caught his smile and returned it. ‘Yes,’ she admitted.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Thank you for letting me attend.’ He knew Katya hadn’t thought it necessary for him to be there.
Katya shrugged. ‘It’s your baby, too.’
There was a momentary silence as they both sipped at their drinks. ‘I think I fell in love today,’ Ben said into the quiet night air.
Katya stopped mid-chew, startled momentarily. Her heart tripped crazily. But the look on his face put his comments into perspective. He was talking about the baby.
‘You sound surprised,’ she said lightly, sipping her water to cover the commotion inside.
‘I didn’t expect for it to be so powerful so soon.’ He shrugged. ‘After years of avoiding it I didn’t think I’d ever feel love again in any capacity. But this just seems so...easy.’
She nodded. Her love for their baby was the one constant in her life. That and her desire to give him the best chance in life.
‘You avoided love?’ Katya asked as he stood and walked to the railing to stare out over the water. Had he been hiding the real Ben behind a playboy façade?
He nodded. ‘Just like you.’
He turned around piercing her with a searching look and Katya felt as if he’d seen inside her soul. She felt on shaky ground and needed to turn this conversation away from her.
‘Someone break your heart?’
‘Once.’ He gave her a sad smile. ‘A long time ago. I was young and stupid.’
Katya shivered at the bitterness in his last words. Someone had hurt him very badly. She felt a