a mere child herself.
And her conversation with her mother on the phone yesterday was another piece in the crazy Katya puzzle that was becoming clearer. But looking at her as she cradled their baby with her protective pose, like a lioness protecting her young, he knew he was just scratching the surface. Obviously her childhood had left scars.
‘At least you know how,’ he said in a soft voice.
Katya saw a flash of Sophia’s terror and pain and clamped down on the memory before it developed sound. ‘Trust me, Ben. I wouldn’t be any good for this baby.’
‘What makes you think I would be any better?’
Sure, he could provide for it. But giving himself up completely to another human being, as babies demanded, was a terrifying thought. He’d done that once already and he too had been left with scars.
‘Because you have Lucia. You had a fantastic role model and an idyllic childhood — none of which I had. And I see that reflected in the way you’ve been with Lupi. I’ve watched you with, Ben. You’re good with her. And she adores you and so will this baby. And you can give it things I can’t.’
‘I can’t give it a mother’s love.’
Katya gripped her abdomen more firmly his words penetrating like bullets, shredding her fortitude. As long as it had love, did it matter whether the source was from the mother or the father? ‘I meant material stuff.’
‘Like Ferraris and Learjets?’
Katya shook her head, feeling her ire rise. He made her feel like a gold-digger. ‘You think I give a damn about expensive status symbols? You think I got pregnant to bleed you dry?’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, holding up his hands. ‘That was uncalled for.’
Ben massaged his forehead. He hadn’t meant his words to sound so judgmental. He just couldn’t believe his life was suddenly spinning out of control. He’d left Italy a decade ago to regain control and feeling that all slip away again was frustrating.
And he’d be damned if he’d let it take over a second time.
If Katya was having his baby and wanted him to raise it, then it had to be on his terms. He wasn’t going to let another woman turn his life upside down.
He looked at her, her blue eyes still glowering at him, her hand still firmly in place on her stomach. She said she didn’t want their baby but her body language said differently. And despite his shock, Ben couldn’t suppress a tiny faint glow deep inside that already connected him to his child.
Maybe they’d both been given a chance to overcome their pasts?
‘I think we should get married.’
CHAPTER FIVE
KATYA blinked. Her hand stilled on her stomach. ‘What did you say?’
Ben couldn’t blame her for her shocked expression. He was kind of shocked himself. The whole morning had been one mind-bending revelation after the other. He certainly hadn’t come away this morning expecting to ask Katya to marry him. But his old-fashioned values, beliefs ingrained into him by his mother and his upbringing, overrode everything.
They were having a baby — it deserved to be legitimate. Even though his faith in marriage and family had been destroyed a decade ago. Even though Katya wanted nothing to do with the baby. The baby hadn’t asked to exist and it deserved no less than any other child. It deserved the right beginning.
‘I said, we should get married.’
Katya was lost for words. Had he gone completely mad? What the hell did marrying him have to do with the baby? The thought was as horrifying as it was tantalising.
‘You?’ she spluttered. ‘Bendetto Medici, the playboy count? Get married?’
He shrugged. ‘You’re pregnant. The baby’s mine. It may be old-fashioned but it’s the right thing to do.’
Katya blinked again. Old-fashioned? Try archaic! ‘In the Dark Ages, maybe.’
‘I’m a traditionalist.’ He shrugged again.
Bitter laughter bubbled in Katya’s chest and it was out before she could check it. It sounded harsh in the confines of the cabin. ‘This from the man who famously spent one of his leave periods from MedSurg dating every swimwear model he could locate?’
Ben could have been deaf and blind and still wouldn’t have missed her mocking tone. Her harsh judgment of him rankled. He was far removed from the man he used to be. ‘Dismissing me again, Katya?’
She stood up and pushed herself away from the lounge, putting some distance between herself and the dark, dangerous glitter of his eyes. She paced over to the window and looked out. This was crazy. Crazy! The Med shimmered