to use and a few for the rag pile.
When Eleanor returned after about fifteen minutes, she carried her knitting bag and her eyes appeared suspiciously red-rimmed.
Oh, poor dear. Eleanor was torn between needing to move forward with her life and wanting to hold tight to the past and the memories and these tangible things that represented Jack Whitaker’s life.
If she died, who would mourn her like this? Rachel would miss her, certainly. And Yvette would be sad, as well. But not with this bone-deep grief.
Jess wasn’t that important to anyone.
A sobering thought the day after her thirtieth birthday.
“Which do you prefer? Being closer to the closet so you can see what I’m doing or sitting out here by the window?”
“Closer to you, I think.”
Jess moved Eleanor’s favorite ergonomic recliner and footrest from its usual spot looking out to sea to the other side of her bed. Fortunately, it wasn’t heavy. “There you go.”
“Oh, thank you, my dear. You’re so thoughtful.”
She didn’t necessarily agree but appreciated Eleanor’s opinion.
They slowly worked their way through Jack’s side of the closet. Like his book collection, Jack had many items of clothing, some more worn than others. He didn’t seem to have discarded many things over the years. The wardrobe spanned several different decades.
After a few hours of work, they still had most of the large walk-in closet to go.
Jess pulled out a suit with wide pinstripes and even wider lapels. “Wow. This is very cool. This looks like it’s from the ’40s.”
“That suit belonged to Jack’s father, who was quite a dapper fellow in his day. Jack couldn’t part with it, though I begged him. He said it was a part of his father, one of the few he had left.”
She gave a distant sort of smile. “They were much the same size and Jack would wear that for certain occasions. He looked great it in, let me tell you. So handsome. Like a more distinguished James Dean. One year for Halloween he wore it and dressed like a gangster. I went as his moll. I had the whole fancy outfit, including a fake derringer in my garter.”
Jess had to smile. “I wish I could have seen that.”
“I’ve got pictures somewhere. Maybe I’ll look through them this afternoon and see if I can find one. We were something.”
“I bet.”
Eleanor pressed a hand to her chest again, which made Jess frown. Did the other woman have any idea how often she did that? Was it only because of her emotional heartache or was something physical going on?
“I used to love to go out dancing with Jack. There was a place down the coast that had live music—the big band stuff, not rock and roll, though we liked that, too. We used to dance all night. That was before our Nathaniel came along, of course. He was such a miracle that I didn’t like to leave him, even for an evening, especially at first.”
“A miracle?” She had to ask.
“Completely. We tried for ten years to have a child. It was our greatest sorrow. Jack and I were so happy together and we knew a child would only add to our joy.”
Jess listened, fascinated, while she folded and boxed clothing they had sorted into piles.
“I had three miscarriages before Nathaniel came along and also one late-term miscarriage that was considered a stillbirth. I lost a baby girl at twenty-four weeks. She was perfectly formed in every way and doctors never knew why she didn’t survive. We named her Jennifer.”
“Oh, Eleanor. I’m so sorry.”
This woman had endured so much sorrow and loss in her life, yet she was still warm and gracious to those within her orbit. She made Jess feel small and petty in comparison.
“Doctors warned us I shouldn’t get pregnant again, that it would probably end the same way.” She continued knitting, not breaking the flow of her work while she spoke. “Jack didn’t want to try again. He wanted to start the process of adopting and I finally agreed. I knew I would love any child, whether or not I gave birth to him or her. We were only just beginning to fill out the paperwork and had decided to stop trying ourselves to get pregnant.”
She chuckled. “Would you believe that after all those years of infertility, the minute we stopped trying, I got pregnant within the month?”
“Wow. That’s amazing!”
“Right? Wouldn’t you call that a miracle? And the pregnancy was easy the entire nine months. No morning sickness, no early contractions. He was just a