plans to build our dream house by years.”
“Do you think I care about any dream house? I just want my wife back.”
His words and the edge of desperation in them made her guilty and defensive at the same time. “I haven’t gone anywhere, Cody. I’m not the one who works sixteen-hour days so you don’t have to come home and deal with your family.”
Color rose in his face but he didn’t deny that’s what he was doing. “Why not? When I’m home, you don’t seem to want or need me around. Everything I do is wrong.”
She couldn’t help that she had figured out the best way to do things after years of running their house. Every time she gently tried to explain why her way was better, he got mad and stormed off.
She was pushing him away. Why couldn’t she just shut up and let him load the dishwasher wrong and add the wrong detergent to the white clothes?
Where the hell would her perfection get her when she didn’t have a husband?
She didn’t want to have this fight right now. Not in this cute boutique hotel with the bohemian decor and the tassels on the pillows. She had entertained all these fantasies about seducing her husband, sharing physical closeness, which usually led to at least some emotional closeness.
Right now sex was the last thing on her mind but maybe if she took a break from the situation she could come back more in the mood.
“I’m going to sit by the pool for a minute and call Jess to check on the girls.”
“You don’t have to leave. You can call from here.”
“I’ve been sitting in the car for three hours. I need some air,” she said.
He studied her, his blue eyes she loved so much suddenly filled with a sadness that broke her heart. Could he feel their marriage slipping away, too?
“What about dinner? I ate at McD’s but you didn’t have anything. I can order room service for you. I could probably eat dessert.”
“I’m not hungry,” she said. “I’ll take one of the protein shakes I packed down to the pool and drink that.”
By the time she made it to the outdoor pool, surrounded by palm trees and lush landscaping, she felt even more horrible for her pissy mood.
What was wrong with her? She wasn’t usually so negative. Ever since Silas’s diagnosis, her temper was on a hair trigger.
She had taken everything out on Cody, who didn’t deserve her constant bad mood.
She should drink her shake, call her sister, and then go back and have incredible makeup sex with her husband.
Jess didn’t answer until after the fourth ring.
“Hi,” she said, sounding breathless. “Sorry. I guess I left my phone down in the kitchen while I was reading a story to Grace. I barely heard it.”
She suddenly yearned to be home with her girls with hugs and stories and the soft sweetness of bedtime.
“Is everything okay there?”
“Great. The kitchen fire was small and the firefighters were able to put it out quickly with almost no damage to the house.”
“Jess.” Sometimes her sister’s sense of humor escaped her.
“I’m sorry. I’m teasing. We had a great afternoon and evening. We took a bike ride this afternoon, built an epic sandcastle, which I took pictures of, and ended up having pizza at the park with Nate Whitaker and Sophie. Ava is already asleep and Grace will probably be there by the time we end this phone call.”
Nate again. Things there seemed more and more interesting.
“Thank you again for staying with them.”
“It’s been no problem at all.” Jess spoke with a sincerity Rachel didn’t usually hear from her sister, who tended to keep all her emotions tightly wrapped.
“They’re great girls, Rachel. Funny and kind and smart. I can tell you’re a good mom.”
The quiet words of approval, so desperately needed, sent Rachel over the edge. Her throat tightened and tears burned her eyes.
She couldn’t begin to tell Jess how much that meant to her. She wanted so much better for her children than she and her sister had for the first thirteen years of Rachel’s life.
She wanted to give them confidence, curiosity, joy. She didn’t want them to grow up in a war zone, with a perennially stressed mother trying desperately to achieve an impossible perfection.
“Thanks for saying that. I don’t feel like it most of the time, but thanks.”
“So according to your notes, I’m getting them off to school and preschool tomorrow then Cody’s mom is picking up Ava when she gets out.”
“Yes. And