Look at you all! I don’t have backup Hawaiian clothes for the kids, Cody. What kind of a miracle worker do you think I am? It’s a good thing I snapped a picture of them earlier that I can use on Instagram tomorrow.”
She thought she saw annoyance flicker in his eyes but it disappeared before she could be sure. “So they can wear something else. They all have plenty of cute clothes.”
“It won’t be the same. You have no idea how hard I’ve worked for the past two days to make everything perfect for Jess.”
“Jess doesn’t need perfect. She’ll know that you tried and she’ll love you anyway for the effort.”
“That’s easy for you to say, especially now that you’ve ruined everything,” she snapped. “Like usual.”
Oh. She shouldn’t have added that. She didn’t mean it. Why did the worst things gush out of her when she was angry?
He didn’t say anything but she could see the hurt in his eyes and she hated herself.
“Girls, go in and take a quick shower,” Cody said quietly. “Grace, can you help Ava get the mud out of her hair? Once you’re clean, find your prettiest matching dresses, the ones you wore in that family picture your mom had us take a few weeks ago.”
“Okay, Daddy. Come on, Ava.”
She dragged her sister away. As soon as they were gone Cody turned on Rachel.
“We were only trying to help. I’m sorry things didn’t go the way you wanted. I wanted things to be perfect, too. I screwed up and I’m sorry. But it was an accident.”
She didn’t trust herself to speak, knowing her anger was completely out of proportion but unable to help it.
“Life doesn’t always go the way we want it,” Cody went on, his voice low and intense.
“You certainly don’t have to tell me that,” she said, her voice just as impassioned.
He jerked his head back as if she had slapped him. As he stood there holding their mud-spattered, beautiful little boy who faced so many challenges in his life and who had found a moment of joy in playing with a water hose, Rachel despised herself all over again.
Cody had been trying to help, not least of all by taking Silas off her hands for a minute. She knew how hard it was to wrestle him and get anything done. She spent all day, every day, trying to keep him out of one disaster after another.
She had taken a bad situation and made it so much worse. “I know I’m overreacting. I know. I’m sorry. I haven’t spent a birthday with Jess in forever and I just wanted everything to be perfect.”
There was that stupid word again. This time, her voice broke on it and to her dismay, Rachel felt hot tears begin to slide down.
Cody looked helpless. She knew he wanted to hug her but he was covered in mud and holding their son, also covered in mud, who was now cuddled up to him in a rare show of affection.
“We can choose to focus on what others might consider imperfection. Or we can choose to focus on the joy. Our decision, Rachel.”
She hated when he was right. Which was most of the time. She wiped at her eyes, hoping her mascara wasn’t running.
“Go clean up the two of you. I’ll see what I can do to salvage things outside.”
“I’ll be out to help as soon as I can.”
“Don’t worry about it. I can do it.”
He sighed and headed for the stairs, just as the doorbell rang. “I can get it,” she said, walking to the entry.
“We’re already here.” He opened the door and suddenly there was Jess. She took one look at the mud-splattered Cody and Silas before her gaze shifted to Rachel’s eyes, which she knew were probably red-rimmed.
“Obviously this is a bad time.”
“Not a bad time,” Cody assured her. “Just a messy situation. We had an accident with the water hose. Hi, Jess. Happy birthday. I would kiss you but Rachel would kill me if I got you muddy on your big day.”
“I wouldn’t mind. Hi, Silas.”
He ignored her, busy playing with the button on Cody’s golf shirt collar. Jess’s smile never faltered.
“We need to run and change. As soon as I take care of that, I’ll come and clean up the table out there. I think we can salvage most of the decorations.”
Rachel highly doubted it but didn’t want to argue with him in front of Jess. “Go change. I’ll check it out.”
“What can I do to