he was finally going to get to the bottom of Sophie’s seismic mood change a month earlier.
“She told me I should apologize to you and tell you why I’ve been so mad.”
“I’m listening.”
He was exhausted from the tumultuous afternoon and evening spent in the hospital but if he and Sophie had any chance of returning to their previous easy, affectionate relationship, he would sit here all night.
“I overheard something I don’t think I was supposed to hear a month ago. Something about my mom.”
Nate tensed. “Something I said?”
“Yes. You and Gram. You were talking about me and how much I had grown up and looked like my mom. And then you talked about when we first came back to Cape Sanctuary, how hard it was knowing my mom would never get the chance to know me and how different my life might have been if she had chosen to defer her deployment. And you told Gram that even if my mom hadn’t died, you probably would have ended up divorced because you didn’t want me to ever know I wasn’t my mom’s first priority.”
She sniffled and Nate closed his eyes, cursing himself for not making sure Sophie hadn’t been within earshot when he and his mother had that indiscreet conversation.
He rarely talked about Michelle. That brief part of his past seemed a lifetime ago. She had given him his most precious gift, Sophie. Other than that, he didn’t think about her much.
He could remember that particular night clearly. It had been the night of what would have been his wedding anniversary and he had been feeling low, a little lonely as he looked back at the path he had chosen to travel as a single father.
“I’m sorry you heard that,” he finally said.
“Yeah. It was a lot easier when I thought she was some kind of war hero like everyone else does.”
Damn it. He had never wanted this. The wounded hurt in his daughter’s voice broke his heart.
“She was, Sophie. She was. Your mom was an amazing woman. She gave her life to protect other people from a terrorist attack. I still call that heroic.”
“All this time, you let me think she was the big love of your life, the reason you hardly ever date anybody else.”
He had never said that to her. Had he?
“I did love your mother,” he protested.
“How could you? You said you were going to divorce her!”
He sighed, wishing they didn’t have to have this conversation right now. He wanted his daughter to always believe in happy endings. It was his fault. If only he had kept his mouth shut, instead of making a few half-forgotten comments to his mother in passing.
“Your mom and I...we weren’t a good match. I know this might be hard to understand but you can love somebody with all your heart and still not be a good fit together.”
The words resonated in his chest. He was doing it again. Falling for someone who was completely wrong for him. His life was here in Cape Sanctuary. He had a business here, his mother, Sophie, while Jess had created an entire business model based on being willing and able to travel as needed.
“I loved your mom. If she hadn’t died serving her country, I hope we could have tried hard to make it work. We might have figured out a way.”
“It hurt that you lied to me all this time.”
“I’m sorry.”
This was the crux of the matter. She felt betrayed that the worldview he had always created for her was only one perspective of the wider picture.
“I was trying to protect you. I can see now where you would feel like I kept important information from you. I’m sorry for that. I don’t blame you for being upset with me. I wish you had told me this a month ago, though, so we could have avoided all the slamming doors and cranky comments.”
“Jess basically yelled at me and told me to stop being a baby. She didn’t use those words but that’s what she was really saying.”
“Was it?”
“She told me it wasn’t fair to take out my anger at the parent who stayed and took care of me all this time.”
Warmth and gratitude seeped through him along with more of those tender feelings he didn’t know what to do with. Nate had to swallow hard before he trusted himself to answer. “I guess that’s one way to look at it.”
“Yeah. I hadn’t thought of it that way. She’s kind of right. I’m...sorry. Next