nose, even though I knew he couldn’t see me from where I lay. “Girls who are short and tiny like that—they make girls like me, who are tall, feel gangly. Like we’re all arms and legs. Like giants.”
“Zel—you’ve got to be kidding.” Now Eli did sound incredulous. “You are without a doubt the most beautiful woman on this entire campus, and you’re threatened by a little red-headed freshman? Please. I happen to know you have more self-confidence than that.”
I sighed, my breath ruffling over his nipple and making him shiver. I wanted to do that again, just to see him react, but I couldn’t avoid answering his last statement.
“You’ve never been a tall woman, bud. You don’t know how dainty girls make us feel.”
“All right, I’ll concede to the fact that I’ve never been a woman of any type, tall or short. But I think it was something more than that.”
“Hmmmmm. I can’t think of anything else it could be. I told you, I just don’t like perky. It makes me feel like I’m going into a diabetic coma.” I pretended to gag. “Ugh.”
“She’s not that bad,” Eli protested mildly. “She’s just young.”
“And she likes you.” I couldn’t stop that from coming out. “She was being all flirty and twirly and shit because she likes you and she wants you to ask her out.” I paused. “And maybe you should. Maybe it would be good for you to have a real girlfriend, Eli. You shouldn’t let me—this—” I tapped my finger on his chest and then pointed at myself. “It shouldn’t keep you from finding someone you like who could make a good girlfriend. Quinn was right about you. It’s time for you to have a regular girl in your life.”
“Oh, yeah?” His arms tightened around me. “I have the only woman I want in my life already. And I’m perfectly happy with her and with how things are.”
“Liar,” I murmured. “You’re not happy with how things are. You want more. Every time we’re alone together, you subtly push me for more. You think I don’t notice, but I do. But I was upfront with you, Eli. I told you what I was capable of and what I wasn’t. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“No one is saying anything like that.” His voice tightened. “Haven’t I followed every one of your rules and stipulations, Zelda? I haven’t told anyone about us. I treat you the same as I do Quinn and Gia. I don’t demand or expect anything from you. You can’t say I’ve gone back on my word in any way at all.”
“I know.” I closed my eyes again. “I know all that. But I also know that if I said to you tonight, hey, let’s announce our relationship to the world and be out in the open about it—let’s be exclusive—you’d leap at the idea. You want the girlfriend experience now. Maybe you didn’t five years ago, but now you do. Admit it.”
“I won’t, because it’s not true.” Eli’s fingers drew small circles on my back, where his hands rested near my spine. “I don’t want the experience.” He was silent for a few beats before he added, “It’s not the experience I want. It’s the girl. The woman. It’s you.”
I lay very still, my heart thudding, and wondered how to reply to that. I was trying to figure it out when he went on, his voice softer this time.
“And the hell of it is, Zel, I think you want the same thing, only you’re too damn stubborn to admit it. That’s why you were so upset the other night. It was because Cora made a fuss over me. She flirted, she touched me—and it was driving you fucking crazy, wasn’t it? It made you insane to think that maybe I was going to fall for her—for the annoying red-head—when you know the truth is that I belong to you.”
I wanted to deny it, but I wasn’t going to lie. “I didn’t like it. The way she just—put her hands on you. Like you were some piece of meat. Or a really nice new Betsey Johnson purse.”
This time when he laughed, it wasn’t silent. “I’m not sure I appreciate being compared to a handbag, but okay. So you didn’t like Cora touching me. That’s a start.”
“And I didn’t like that she made me feel that way. I don’t like being . . . jealous.” I sniffed. “Especially when I don’t have any right to be jealous. Not