done it all—or just about. During my years of experimentation and fun, I’d had threesomes and tried things that were more than mildly kinky. But sex with Eli was on another level altogether. I knew he’d worried at first that his lack of mobility meant I was compromising. He was totally wrong.
The other annoying part about the past few months had been that I had a growing suspicion—or perhaps more accurately, horror—that he was ruining me for other men. I’d had opportunities to hook up with guys. I’d gone to parties. I’d been propositioned in class and while walking across campus. But when I thought about having sex with these men . . . it just didn’t appeal to me. I didn’t want to spend my time in a strange bed, with a new man running his hands over my skin, when I could be hanging out with Eli—even if it didn’t lead to sex.
Something was seriously wrong with me.
Quinn cleared her throat, and I realized with embarrassment that she was still waiting for me to finish my answer about tonight.
“But?” she prompted.
“But . . .” I had to improvise fast. “I’m not sure I can handle listening to Gia go on and on about Matt and how amazing this summer is going to be.” I wrinkled my nose. “Isn’t it enough that I’m going to have to live it out in real time? Do I need to suffer through all the previews, too?”
Quinn sighed. “I know. And I also know she kind of backed you into a corner about this. You two had already agreed to share the apartment this summer when she announced that Matt was coming up here. And yeah, technically, he’s supposed to be staying with his grandparents, but . . .”
“But we both know Matt Lampert does whatever the hell he wants to do, and I don’t see him spending quality time with his grandma and grandpa when he could be partying here on campus.” I nodded. “I’m fully aware of that. I’ll be fine, though, doll. Don’t worry about me.”
“I feel like I’m abandoning you.” Wrapping her arms around her middle, she leaned into the doorjamb.
“You mean by going down to Carolina to spend the summer shacking up with your honey? Don’t be ridiculous. You totally have to do that, and like I said, it’s all good. If Gia and Matt get to be too much, I’ll just . . .” I shrugged. “Find an elsewhere to be.”
“Hmmm.” Quinn’s eyes lit up. “Just think, if you had a boyfriend, you’d have a safe place to run and hide.”
I shot her a quelling look. “First of all, I never run and hide. Second, what’s this new kick to get me to commit to one guy? You know me, doll. You know I don’t do serious or relationships. Why are you suddenly so interested in seeing me stuck with one boring man?”
“I don’t know.” She lifted one shoulder. “I don’t think you should—or ever would—be stuck with one boring man. But I also think you undersell yourself when you claim you’re not cut out for monogamy. You’re magnificent, Zelda. You have so much to offer. You just can’t see it yourself.”
I couldn’t help myself. I rose to my feet and went to the door, wrapping my friend in a tight hug. “Doll, you are the best person I know. I swear you see good in every single soul. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but trust me—I know myself pretty well. I’m happy for you and Leo—and God help us all, even for Gia and Matt, the most dysfunctional fools I’ve ever met. But that’s not for me.”
“All right, all right,” she sighed. “But will you come with us tonight anyway? Please? I promise I’ll keep Gia from talking too much. I like it better when we go as a group.”
“Okay.” I threw up my hands. “But only for you, Quinn. Just keep that in mind. Only for you.”
Santori’s was our favorite pizza joint for several reasons. One, since it was in Miltonville, it was far enough away from campus that very few Birch students ventured here to eat. Two, it was owned and operated by a family of second-generation Italians who knew what they were doing in the kitchen. And three, on Fridays, they had live music, featuring local and up-and-coming bands. That was something that appealed to Quinn and me more than the others, but still.
It wasn’t too crowded when we sat down that