for if you’re going to screw someone else?”
“He was here with Sam. Having his arm around me is hardly screwing him. You should know that,” I grumble. “Who was the redhead?”
He looks away. “Some clingy whore. I told her I had a girl, but she was sure she was different. They all think they’re so different. Guess what, Rain?” he growls drunkenly. “They’re not different. They’re all the same to me.”
I don’t want to hear this. “Can you stand up?”
He teeters on his feet and then points at me accusingly. “You kill me, Rain. Every day you kill me a little more. Since I met you you’ve been under my skin. I don’t like women under my skin. I can’t go a day without seeing your face. I left here and I missed you the second I closed the door. What kind of shit is that?”
“Kent.” I look down at his blood on my hands. “Not right now.”
“When, then?” He stumbles back drunkenly. “In a month? You think a month is going to make me change my mind? It’s not. My mind is made up. The truth is I want you, Rain. I want you more than I want my own damn self. I want you right now, tomorrow, and the next day. But you know what else? I can’t have you. I’m just some shithead and you’re going to leave like Willow. You’re all the same. Even you, Rain.”
I’ve been waiting for it. All this time I knew it was coming. You’re all the same. I am not different. I am Auburn Hair to him. I am Samantha and Arissa. I am another faceless body to him. He doesn’t even need me. He wants me.
He continues, driving the knife in my heart. “Why don’t you leave now? Why wait? Why make me fall harder? Trevor, Rain? All those talks we had together? I trusted you. I fell for you. I made love to you. You’re just like Willow!”
All I hear is: You’re just like Willow. Willow’s not with him. How can I be like Willow? A cold sinking feeling starts to eat at me.
Becca steps in, talking soothingly to him. “Okay, Kent. Cut it out. Let’s go lie down.”
“You have to get her away from me,” he begs Becca, looking her right in the eye. “You have to or I never will. I’ll fucking ruin her if you don’t. Look at her! I’m already doing it.”
“I am,” she promises him.
I get up and block his path. “Look me in the eye and tell me yourself.”
His black eyes are churning. They’re full of pain and anger. “Let me by.”
“Tell me!” I screech, making him flinch. “Tell me and I’ll leave you forever.” Don’t tell me. Please don’t tell me.
“Tell you what?” His voice is suddenly emotionless.
I want to claw my way to his heart and rip it in half the way he’s doing to mine. He knows what. “That I was right. You’re just like my father. You’re a lying, cheating, pathetic bastard and I never should’ve trusted you. I trusted you too!” I give in to the rage. I slap him so hard my hand makes a sharp smack.
He grabs his jaw and bends over in pain. “What the hell!” he growls. His eyes find me. “Get out of my apartment and out my life. It’s better for you. Everything your sister said was right about me. I’m no good for you. Listen to her. She loves you.”
“What about you, Kent? Do you love me?”
His eyes widen and then his expression falls apart. He shoves past me and a second later his bedroom door slams. His shouts fill the back of the apartment.
The moment he slams his door I ice over. I imagine I am a cold, sharp object floating in the middle of nowhere. Alone and frozen with no warmth in sight. The sky is black and my only companions are the stars. I am numb. My wings are no longer on fire. I’m falling toward the earth on my own in the dark.
“Talk to me.” Becca grabs my face and lifts my head up. “Say something.”
I can’t. My insides are missing. Kent took them with him.
“I did not expect that.” Sophie whistles. “So I’m going to go…” She edges for the door. “I’ll call my boyfriend to come and get me. See you at work tomorrow?”
I nod mutely.
She makes a face before leaving. I wonder about that face. But I’m so lost and empty I don’t wonder