I wasn’t. That’s why I let you move in. Something was screaming at me to say ‘yes, I will make an exception for this girl.’ So I did. And now I’m ruining you. You really want a guy who’s going to drag you down?”
There were those words. Kent was dragging me down.
“Maybe we don’t have to do that to each other. Maybe we can try not to.”
“How?”
“Stop doing what’s hurting the other. Like don’t punish every vagina within a five mile radius.” My bitterness shines through.
He glares at me. “Okay. And how about you stop kissing me like I matter and then talking to men like Trevor and hooking up with my best friend?”
“Right there. We try to hurt each other so badly. It isn’t healthy. I want healthy. I don’t want to be reminded of my father and you’re reminding me of him. How many times do you think my parents had this conversation? My dad never changed. He still did drugs, they still fought, and he dragged her down the entire way. The next time you remind me of my father I’m packing my shit and leaving. I’ll deal with the pain if I never have to live with him again!” I am seething. I grab his pillow off his bed and launch at him. “Will you at least sleep on the floor?”
He catches it and hugs it to his chest. After a second he sighs and locks his door. He drops down onto his back and lies on the pillow.
“Happy?”
“Not yet,” I admit. “I think if you tried you could make me very happy.”
He groans and his face falls. “I want to make you happy. I want to be healthy again. Me again. I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t help myself. When Willow left I promised I would never let another woman hurt me that bad again. She killed me, Rain. I wanted to punish every woman the way she punished me. So I fuck the shit out of them to make them feel as worthless as I feel. I treat them all like shit, because that’s how I feel. I don’t want to do that to you. I’m not going to be able to stop overnight. I’ve been this way since she left. People can change, but it never happens like that.” He snaps at the end. “It takes time. I have to want it as much as you do.”
“Do you want it?” I hold my breath and stare into his unfathomable eyes.
“If I do, you stay?”
“I will.”
“Then I want it. I want you, Rain.” He smiles a little. “You’re turning me into a pussy already.”
I want you, Rain. “I thought you liked pussy.”
“I like your pussy. So you’ve never been with anyone but me? No one’s ever fingered you before?”
He may not be the most romantic guy around…“No one’s even seen me naked.”
“How have you accomplished that? You’re one of the sexiest women I've ever met. Everything you do tortures me. The way you look at me, the way you walk, your ass in those shorts, and those damn hazel eyes. I know I’m not the only one—Zeke, James, and Trevor—you leave men in the dust without even trying.”
I torture him? If it’s the same way he tortures me then he deserves it. “They let me.”
“So you never let one of them touch you at all?” I shake my head. “You only want me to touch you?” he clarifies, seeming pleased but still cocky.
“Only you, Kent.”
“Why?” he asks simply. “Let’s be honest here. I’m gorgeous, I know it.” He pauses to give me a sardonic smile. “I’m not bad looking. Neither is James. He’s pretty damn handsome. And Zeke’s all right if you can get over that backwards shit. Why me?”
“For the same reason you made an exception for me. There’s something about you. It’s so incredibly attractive and magnetic I can’t help it. I want you in a way I’ve never wanted anyone. I can’t explain it. It’s how I feel in here.” I touch my heart. “There has to be more there than attraction. I want to get to know you. The real you. You haven’t let me.”
“What if you don’t like what you find?”
“What if I love it?”
He shrugs, but I can tell my answer has made him uncomfortable. He’s squirming around the word love like it’s a snake in his bed. I won’t say that again until I absolutely have no choice. Until all other words fail me and