already moved back into the shadows.
‘I didn’t hear anything.’ They both sat there, listening to the silence.
‘Just the wind,’ said Jason. ‘Nothing to worry about.’
Not wanting to risk standing in the hall for very much longer I tried to work out what to do next. As I saw it, I had two options. One, I could go and slam the front door and pretend like I’d just come in. I’d fiddle with my bag in the hallway, take my coat off, give them time to compose themselves and then have to have a very awkward conversation with them both. Or, two, I could leave without them knowing I was ever here and come back in the morning when Vicky would, hopefully, be long gone.
I decided it would be best if I left them none the wiser. After everything I’d just heard, my head was a mess. I’d spend the night at Carla’s. She wouldn’t mind.
I didn’t leave until they’d restarted the video. Using the noise to disguise the opening and shutting of the front door, as I slipped back out into the night, I tried to forget the easy chemistry of Vicky’s head on Jason’s shoulder, the way he’d seemed to lean into her touch, the way their hands had managed to find each other in the dark.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Carla’s living room was warm, the only source of a light a single standard lamp covered with a blue silk scarf.
‘Sorry to impose,’ I said, putting down my suitcase. ‘Did I wake you?’
‘Not at all.’ She gestured to her open laptop on the table in the corner. ‘I was working late when you called. I’ve got to give a paper at a conference in a couple of days and I’m nowhere near ready.’
I collapsed back onto her battered red leather Chesterfield and kicked off my heels. Jasper was on my lap and purring in an instant. During the journey over I’d replayed the conversation I’d witnessed between Jason and Vicky so many times that I’d started to mix up who’d said what to whom. They shared a secret, that much was clear, but what?
‘I thought you were staying at your mum and dad’s?’ said Carla, taking a seat beside me. She was wearing purple harem pants, cable-knit bed socks and an Amnesty International hoodie; her black curls were arranged on top of her head with what seemed to be a combination of clips and chopsticks.
‘I was. I just got back.’ I placed my finger on the bottom of my jumper and traced out the laparoscopic triangle of dots on the skin underneath. ‘Thought I’d surprise Jason. But then when I got home, Vicky was there.’
‘Was she visiting?’ asked Carla carefully.
I smoothed my hand down Jasper’s spine.
‘The doctors said I have to wait a few months, but they said that what happened shouldn’t stop me from being able to have another baby. Did I tell you that?’
‘You did. I came to see you in the hospital, remember?’
I looked at the screensaver on Carla’s laptop. A slideshow of photos, the current picture showed Carla atop a hill in the rain, her cagoule cinched around her face.
‘This conference. Who’s going to feed Jasper while you’re away?’
‘I was going to ask the neighbours.’
‘I’ll do it.’
‘Not necessary. Not with everything you’ve got going on at the moment …’
‘I’ll do it,’ I said again before she could continue. ‘No arguments.’
She conceded with a sigh.
‘It’s almost two.’ She stretched her arms in the air and yawned. ‘I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.’
Later, tucked under Carla’s blanket, I watched the changing sequence of pictures on her laptop and tried to let their slow slides and dissolves lull me to sleep. But every time I closed my eyes I would be confronted with the image of Jason and Vicky in my living room.
Was she still there with him now? What were they doing? Would she end up staying the night?
I reached my hand out of the blanket and down to my bag on the floor. Finding Lauren’s compass, I brought it up to my mouth and pressed it to my lips, my breath condensing on the smooth silver.
I thought of Vicky and Jason on the sofa. The way Jason had sat in close and held her hand. She was no longer his to have. But the fact I knew Vicky was with Martin offered no reassurance. What was to stop her from ditching the detective and trying to put everything back to how it used to be? I could