collar.
‘I thought it more befitting a woman of my age.’
‘Don’t be silly. You looked great; you still look great,’ I said, nudging her gently.
She smiled and nudged me back.
‘I had the radio on during the drive up.’ Her voice was bright, as though she’d sensed an opportunity and was glad to act on it. ‘They were talking about how long women leave it to have a baby these days.’
I stiffened.
‘They said once you get to forty your chance of getting pregnant in any given month is just five per cent.’ She stopped and turned to face me. Her thoughts seemed to have jack-knifed in some other direction. ‘Did you have to go into work today?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘When I couldn’t get hold of you …’ She tailed off. ‘It was like last year all over again.’
‘When are you going to stop obsessing about that? I was away, at a sales conference. You couldn’t get hold of me because I was busy.’
‘They had to break down the door.’
‘I have a bad back. I took one too many painkillers on an empty stomach.’ I slapped my chest. ‘I’m fine. As fine as I can be. Just like you and Dad.’
She slunk a little lower into her polo neck.
‘Look,’ I said, dropping my voice an octave. ‘It’s been a hard few weeks and today is always difficult but Jason takes good care of me.’ I searched for something I could use to reassure her. ‘We’re going on holiday soon.’
‘Oh?’
‘Gran Canaria. The hotel is lovely. It overlooks the beach. We’ll be there out of season so it should be nice and quiet.’ I imagined the blue seas and sand to come. I realised I wasn’t just saying it to make Mum feel better. Jason and I needed this holiday. It would give us a chance to relax and get back on track.
I reached for her hand.
‘Stay tonight. I don’t want you driving all that way here and there in one day.’ I squeezed it hard. ‘Please.’
She screwed up her eyes and leant forward, towards the skyline.
‘It really is quite odd. I keep looking and looking and still, I haven’t been able to spot a single tree.’
I released her hand back into her lap and got to my feet.
‘It’s getting late. Come on. I’ll walk you back to your car.’
Chapter Nine
I waved Mum off and continued down the hill to our front door. Inside, the house was dark. I was about to turn on the hall light when I heard the squeak of chair against floor tile.
‘Jason?’
‘Back here,’ he shouted. ‘In the kitchen.’
I made my way down the passage and found him sitting at the table.
‘Has there been a power cut?’
‘The electric’s fine.’ He got up, came round to where I stood and kissed me lightly on the mouth. Easing my bag off my shoulder, he unbuttoned my coat, slipped it away from my body and offered me a chair. I let myself sink down onto the wooden seat and sniffed. The central heating was on full and its warmth had mingled with something sweet and vaguely familiar. I took another sniff, deeper this time. The air was thick, syrupy almost.
Jason pulled up a chair opposite.
‘I know you like to mark today in your own way but this year I wanted to do something for you.’ He cleared his throat. ‘And for her, for Lauren.’
He twisted round and reached towards the sideboard. Holding whatever it was with both hands, he brought it forward and placed it on the table in front of me. I squinted in the gloom.
‘I had to order it special.’ There was the rasp of a lighter being struck. ‘It was tricky to track down, but then someone on the internet pointed me in the right direction.’ The lighter’s yellow flame bounced and once it had settled he held it next to a pink birthday candle. As the wick caught and flared, a weak disc of light spread out onto the table below. I looked down and saw that the candle was wedged into the middle of a small, triangular biscuit. The biscuit was golden brown and decorated with tiny strips of orange peel and granules of sugar that twinkled in the light.
I recognised it immediately.
‘Infar-cake.’
Jason smiled and reached for my hand.
‘Dreaming bread,’ he said quietly.
I moved my face in close to the plate and breathed deep. I’d come across infar-cake only once before, on holiday on the Isle of Mull. Its salty-sweet tang was unique. I broke away