try and find the words. Instead he stretched across to the dressing table, picked up my round brush and set about slowly pulling its bristles through my hair. And then he did it again and again, so gently, over and over, the repetition like some silent morning prayer.
I looked at the alarm clock: 6.03 a.m.
Lauren had disappeared while playing on her bike outside Mum and Dad’s caravan. I had chosen that precise moment, the wrong moment, to pop back inside and start preparing lunch. She was out of my sight for less than two minutes.
Where had the boy from the off-licence spent last night?
I realised that Jason had stopped brushing my hair and again I worried he could hear my thoughts. Then I saw the clock.
As the final digit changed from a six to a seven I made a decision.
I had to go back and check on the boy. I needed to get a second look. I needed to be sure. Next chance I got, I was going back.
Chapter Eight
I reached the incline at the bottom of the street and the car strained against the gradient. Changing down to first gear, I pressed on the accelerator and began the slow climb. Most people were home from work and the slope was dense with parked cars, every windscreen alight with the setting of the soft September sun.
As intended, since my morning ritual the day had vanished in a haze of meetings and calls. I planned to dispose of the rest of my waking hours with a light supper, hot bath and early bed. Jason wouldn’t mind. He taught an evening class on Thursdays and wouldn’t be back till late.
I reversed into the nearest space I could and was locking the car when I noticed Mum. Parked further up the hill on the other side of the street, she was sitting with her hands clamped to the steering wheel, her arms out straight as though braced against some impending collision. I crossed the road and knocked on the window.
‘Mum?’ She startled out of her reverie and opened the door.
She studied me for a second and then creased her mouth into a smile.
‘Heidi, sweetheart.’
Wearing a green wax jacket over a cream polo neck, I realised that in the months since I’d last seen her she’d had her hair cut. Where before there had been a neat swing of brown caped low on her shoulders, there was now a short, sleek bob, parted in the middle. Tucked behind her ears, the new style exposed her delicate jawline and plump, diamond-studded earlobes. It suited her.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘I didn’t mean for you to see me. I just wanted to check you were OK.’ She put her key in the ignition. ‘I’ll go now.’
‘You drove all the way from Kent to check on me?’
She gave me a look.
‘Shall we talk about what happened last year?’
‘That was a misunderstanding.’
‘I called you five times this morning. Five.’
‘I was at work. If you can’t get hold of me and you feel worried, you should phone Jason.’
She blinked fast and reached up to fiddle with the diamond in her left ear.
‘Do you want to come inside?’ I removed my hand from the car door and saw that I’d left a smudge on its buffed black paintwork. ‘Jason’s teaching. I could make you something to eat.’ At the mention of his name she looked down at her lap. ‘Or there’s a park at the top of the hill.’ I gestured behind me. ‘Stretch your legs?’
She took a few moments to consider and, after buttoning up her wax jacket, got out of the car.
We embraced briefly, Mum squinting at the houses to her left and then, across the road, to my front door.
‘It doesn’t bother you?’
‘What?’
‘Coming straight out onto the street like that. Just your hall, your door, the step and then the pavement?’
I made a start up the hill. Mum scurried to catch up and we walked the rest of the way in silence, the low sun pushing our shadows forward onto the path. I looked at the collection of spindly grey limbs forging ahead. Stretched out like this, my shadow seemed to be holding Mum’s hand, our arms swinging in perfect time.
We reached the park and headed for a row of metal benches in the corner. A long, narrow scrub of grass overlooking a children’s play area, the space was full of people throwing sticks for a variety of skittish, twirling dogs. We took a seat and almost instantly