The police didn’t have a suspect, there was no body and so they were trying to make Vicky the story.’ He rubbed at the short undercut on the back of his head. ‘She wanted to go to the police but I knew that, if we did, it would be a disaster. Right from the start Martin had told us it was important to keep the press on side. You of all people know what it’s like. If people start thinking the parents did it then they’re much less likely to call in anything suspicious. If we’d come clean, it would have added nothing to the investigation and the story would have changed. They would have made it all about the affair, not finding Barney. Lose, lose.’
‘And you got her to agree?’
‘For a time, but she’s a good person. She’s still worried there might be some detail about that morning, that day …’ He faltered. Again, he seemed to be locked into some internal decision-making process about what he was or wasn’t going to tell me.
‘So that’s why you jacked in the steel?’
‘Welding is a small world.’ He shrugged. ‘You come across the same crowd of lads again and again. I couldn’t face the thought of bumping into him. Danny.’
He came forward and took my hands in his. He seemed to be telling the truth.
‘I’m sorry I never told you. I couldn’t.’ He brought his face in close to mine. When I refused to meet his eye, he reached for something else to assuage me. ‘Besides, it wouldn’t have been fair. If you knew any of this then you’d be implicated.’
I thought about the night I’d overheard them talking on the sofa. Vicky had mentioned something about an ultimatum.
‘What about the baby?’
At this he dropped my hands and moved away, towards the bay window.
‘She decided to terminate the pregnancy.’
He adjusted a framed picture of Barney on the windowsill so that it faced head-on, into the room.
‘Does Martin know?’
I was pretty sure I already knew the answer to this question, but I wanted to know if Jason had any inkling.
‘Martin? Of course not.’
I thought of Vicky and the detective that day outside the police station. The text-message exchange I’d read on her phone. Her distress. He knew. But Jason believed the secret he and Vicky shared was one between them and them alone. Secrets like that can keep you bound to a person. Connected. Until, I thought, the day you learn they shared your secret with someone else.
‘So that was why you split? Not because of Barney – because of her infidelity, her pregnancy?’
‘Yes and no.’ He rubbed again at the hair at the back of his scalp, his hand hard against the short undercut. ‘Vicky always swore the thing with Danny was a one-time occurrence, a mistake. I found out later it had been going on for months.’
I had a sudden and horrible realisation.
‘That’s what your file on Vicky was about?’ I didn’t know whether to feel stupid or jealous. ‘You were trying to work out whether or not she’d had an affair, or just a one-night stand?’
His subsequent silence told me everything I needed to know.
I realised I felt embarrassed – for him not me.
‘She didn’t want to get rid of the baby, did she?’
‘Enough.’ He threw his hands up in the air and collapsed back onto the sofa in defeat. ‘You wanted to know and now you know.’
It could have been the other guy’s child she was carrying. On the other hand, there was always a possibility …
I might not have said the words out loud but we’d both heard them. I’d already stayed longer than I should. Tommy was waiting for me. Grabbing my bag and coat, I headed for the front door.
Chapter Fifty-One
The hotel was a grubby sixties block. Situated next to a dual carriageway, it had a pale, concrete exterior and tiny metal windows. Beneath each window were dark, damp stains from where rain had collected on the sill and drained out onto the concrete. The dripping was so consistent it looked deliberate; an eccentric pattern decided upon by the architect.
Sliding doors led into a maroon-coloured lobby. It was empty except for a plastic spider plant in the corner and a vending machine, chained and bolted to the floor. Light jazz muzakked from invisible speakers in the ceiling.
Tommy had said he would be in room 323 and so, after checking the wall signs, I headed for the tiny lift.
I’d spent the drive here replaying Jason’s revelations