her. She was perfectly fine,” Jim soothed.

“I . . . I . . . didn’t poison her through my milk?” I sobbed.

Jim squeezed my feet. “The doctor doesn’t think you were poisoned.”

I stared at him.

Not poisoned?

This was good. This was very good. Laurie hadn’t had to be treated. I had not been poisoned!

Why didn’t I feel elated?

Because I’d had my stomach pumped for NOTHING! “What about my symptoms?” I asked.

“What symptoms, honey?”

“I threw up. My tongue was getting thick. It was hard to breathe. I was sick.”

“Honey, those weren’t symptoms of poisoning. The doctor says most likely you were experiencing a panic attack.”

I shook my head. “No. No. I was sick. I threw up in the toilet at Bruce’s condo. What if I flushed the evidence?”

“They’re going to run the test anyway, but they probably won’t have results for a week or so. The doc said you didn’t have the same stuff going as Celia. He’s pretty sure your results are going to be negative.”

“But if they don’t know for sure, what about Laurie?”

“She never showed any signs of distress. No shallow breathing, drowsiness, slowed heart rate, and whatever all else. The doctor rattled off so many symptoms that I lost track. Point being, she didn’t have any of them.”

Thank God for all the doctors and nurses, going to medical school, studying so hard, and sacrificing so much to be able to help us!

“How is Celia?” I asked.

“She’s in stable condition. She was almost unconscious by the time they got her here. So they think her results are going to show something. But anyway, they were able to pump her stomach in time and expect a full recovery.” Jim’s expression was grave. “You saved her life.”

We sat in silence for a moment.

“My throat is killing me,” I said.

Jim handed me a cup of water with a straw from the bedside table. I sipped the water and felt it burn going down. Swallowing made the pain worse.

We sat in silence for a moment then tears sprang to my eyes again. “When can I see Laurie? Is she really okay?”

Jim got up from the end of the bed and moved toward me. He wrapped his arms around me. “She’s really okay. They didn’t need to pump her tummy or even give her any medication. They watched all her vital signs for over six hours.”

I started to wipe my tears but gave up and buried my face in Jim’s chest and bawled.

Jim stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth. “Everything is fine, honey. I think you’re a little stressed out. But you’re fine. Laurie’s fine. Everybody’s fine.”

I looked up from Jim’s chest into his eyes and nodded.

“I love you, honey. Just close your eyes and rest for a while. They said you’ll probably be released as soon as Dr. Wong gives you a final evaluation. I’m going to check on Laurie and see when they will release her.” He rose from the hospital bed.

“Wait! I want to go with you. I have to see Petunia.” I swung my legs out of the bed, feeling a chill through the thin hospital gown.

“No, honey. You need to stay put and wait for the doctor.” His brow creased with concern. “Are you hungry? Should I order a pizza or something. I mean, your stomach’s empty, right?”

I groaned. The thought of eating made my throat constrict. I couldn’t imagine swallowing anything solid for a hundred years.

“Soup, probably.”

Jim nodded and pulled open the room door. “Course, yeah, right. Soup is good food.” He offered me a smile. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

He shut the door behind him.

I sat back on the bed, ignoring the chill I felt. I had needlessly put Laurie and myself in harm’s way. The guilt I felt was debilitating. Freezing in the hospital gown would be punishment for my crimes.

And yet . . .

Had I really put Laurie and me in danger? Or was it only a perceived danger?

After all, I hadn’t been poisoned. I had only freaked out a bit. Had a “panic attack.”

Big deal. Didn’t all new moms have panic attacks at one point or another?

I mean, what was the difference in panicking to see if Laurie was still breathing in her sleep and thinking I’d been poisoned by a murderer?

I buried my head in my hands. Good Lord, maybe I really was losing my mind.

My thoughts turned to Celia. She would recover.

I had saved her life.

See. I did have value. Even if I was going crazy.