not like well be chugalugging!
You dont even drink, Mom.
Just a taste, darling. Nothing drastic. Were taking my car.
Be careful, I said.
At 11 A.M. I bathed Laurie. Id scrubbed the lint out between her fingers with a Q-tip.
Where did all the lint come from?
It seemed that no sooner had I removed it than it was back. The only thing I could guess was that she constantly had her hands in her mouth. Maybe the fact that her hands were wet made any blanket or piece of cloth fuzz stick between the little webs in her hands.
I stuck a little rubber ducky in the bath with Laurie. She watched it float around. I let her enjoy the soak and sang Row, Row, Row Your Boat to her.
I toweled her and dressed her, then I basically force-fed her. I knew it was a bit earlyour routine was to nurse around noonbut if I wanted to be on time, I had to feed her now. Plus, it would eliminate any awkwardness in front of Bruce.
She seemed to take well enough to the early feeding, but when I burped her, she spit up all over her clean polka-dot top and my blouse, too, somehow missing the burp cloth entirely.
I laid her in the bassinet and hurried to my bedroom to change my top.
When I returned to the nursery, she was gazing at the teddy bear mobile in her bassinet.
Why did she seem to find something to amuse herself only when I needed to run out the door? Why couldnt she amuse herself with the mobile when I was, say, napping?
Come on, Peanuty Pie, I said, scooping her up and placing her on the changing table.
She cooed and grinned at me.
Yes! Youd be really cute if you didnt smell like spit-up. I leaned into her and rubbed my nose against her. She cooed again.
I selected a clean top for her with tiny sunflowers on it. As soon as I slid it over her head, she turned and spit up again.
Darn it!
Maybe feeding Laurie early hadnt been such a good idea. I was now officially late. I mopped her up and started again, this time with a top that buttoned down the front, hoping it would jiggle her less and cause less pressure on her belly.
She seemed content. I packed her into the car seat and took off toward Nob Hill, a good thirty minutes from my house.
Bruce lived in an upscale condo on the third floor. I was winded by the first floor. When I reached his place, I had to lean against the doorframe for support. I was huffing and puffing and refused to ring the bell until I could regain at least a scrap of composure.
When I finally rang the bell, Bruce opened the door wearing blue plaid shorts and a red Hawaiian top. Despite his wardrobe choices, he was still handsome. He was tall and lean, but his shoulders were slumped with grief. I could imagine that Helene and he had made a stunning couple.
Kate, come on in.
The condo faced north and the view of the bay was breathtaking.
He glanced at Laurie peacefully sleeping in her portable car seat bucket. Shes beautiful.
Thank you.
Let me help you, he said, reaching out to take Lauries bucket from my hand.
A mama bear instinct overtook me and I clutched the handle of the car seat so hard my knuckles turned white. Oh no, no, its okay. I got her.
Bruce looked taken aback. Dont be silly. Those car seats get heavy. He reached out again and this time wrapped his hand around the handle.
What was wrong with me? What did I expect him to do with Laurie?
I tried to release my grasp. But something inside me wouldnt, so when Bruce pulled on the car seat, he took me along with it.
He looked confused and froze. He released the bucket as if it had stung him.
I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up.
I let out a nervous laugh. Sorry, I wasnt sure you had her.
What an idiot I am! It was Moms fault for planting the guilty widower seed in my head!
Bruce ran his hand up and down his thigh in a self-soothing gesture. He cleared his throat. Um. I have some salmon on the grill. Downside to these condos is theres no yard. Upside is the roof access.
We made our way awkwardly through the living room. Bruce led and I carted the bucket. The condo was impeccably clean. White Berber carpets, cream leather couches, glass coffee