me—no more dalliances with unworthy men. Not that Gabe is unworthy, but he does like the ladies, and I don’t want to be someone’s “nice” comparison point ever again. But I very much want to know what naughty things I might like, and I want to learn that without making a fool of myself when I have no idea what goes where in what position, or even what to say to get myself in that position in the first place. But I haven’t asked Gabe yet, so I don’t want to say a word to anyone else.
Besides, there’s nothing to share. This is only a little exercise between pals. “Just because we hang out doesn't mean we’re going to do anything more. A man and a woman can be friends, thank you very much.”
Vanessa sets her glass on the bar. “You might see it that way, but he’s always looking at you like he wants you.”
I startle at her comment, my skin buzzing, betraying my brain. But I keep my focus tight. There is no room for a Gabe attraction in my life. None at all. “You’re crazy. He doesn’t look at me like that.”
“You’re crazy, because yes, he does.”
I shake my head, wishing the idea didn’t delight some part of me. “We’re friends. It’s not like that.”
“That’s why your cheeks are all red and flushed.”
I raise a hand to touch my cheek. Maybe it’s a little warm in here. “I can be friends with a good-looking man and not jump his bones.”
“If you insist.” She nods toward the other side of the bar. “I need to go check on the patrons.”
“Do you mind if I pop into your back room?” I ask. “I need to have a private conversation with someone.”
She arches a curious brow. “And who would that be?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, trying to be light.
Vanessa crosses her arms. “No. You can’t borrow my back room.”
“Oh, c’mon. Why not?”
“Because friends don’t keep secrets about who they’re hosting private meetings with in other friends’ back rooms.”
“Fine.” I sigh. “It’s Gabe. Okay?”
She smirks, giving me the most knowing smile she’s ever given me. “Are you going to plant hot fireman seeds with him?”
I decide to deflect with wordplay. “If anyone would be planting seeds, I’d think it’d be him.”
Her jaw drops.
“But the answer is no. I just need to talk to him about something. I’ll update you later.”
She shoots me a sharp stare. “You better. Use of my back room includes giving me a detailed briefing.”
“I promise.”
“Then my back room is your back room.”
13
Arden
I finish my go-out-on-a-limb Riesling, and when Gabe is done with his frame, he strides over and parks himself on the stool next to mine. My stomach flip-flops, and my palms are clammy. I need to make my request soon, otherwise it’ll nag at me all night.
“Hey, East. What’s cooking? Did you save a game for me?”
“Always.” But I don’t want to play a game right now. I want to make my pitch, and I don’t want to wait another second. I’ve been saying the words in my head all day. “But first, do you have a second to chat privately?”
Worry creases his brow. “Sure. Everything okay?”
“Absolutely.” I smile, keeping the mood light and easy, or so I hope.
We head to the back room, where filing cabinets line the walls next to a desk stacked with papers. Across from us is a green leather couch. I don’t sit. I don’t want to delay. I swallow, steeling myself as I find my courage and screw it to the sticking point. Like the ladies in the book club. Ask for what you want.
I reach into my bag, take out a book, and show it to him. Though I read several the other night, this one is the closest to what I want.
Fifty Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life.
“Is this for me?” His expression is curious, lips quirked up in a question.
My throat is dry. I shake my head. “It’s for me.”
Confusion flickers across his blue eyes. “Okayyyyy.”
I grip the book hard. “I have this idea that I want to try some spices.”
“Are you seeing someone you want to get spicy with?” It sounds like the words taste like bitter paprika to him.
“No.” This is harder than I thought. Because of what Vanessa said. Because Gabe is so handsome, so kind, so easy that a part of me keeps thinking how much I want to try all these things with him. To feel what might come next