was nothing. “I’m tough.”
“I know. But I want you to be careful.” My voice sounds tender, and that’s the truth of how I feel for him. Even if this is a one-night-only thing—and I don’t know why it would be more—I want him safe and happy and well. “Your job has risks.”
He grins like that’s the best thing I could have said. “I am safe. And I’m careful. I promise.”
“Good. I don’t want anything happening to you.”
His grin stretches. “You want me sticking around, V?”
I punch him lightly. “Yes, stick around, please.”
His smile possibly reaches the sky. “I’ll do my best.” After sinking onto one of the seats in the tub, he tugs me on top of him so I straddle his legs.
“And now this hot tub is getting red-hot.”
“Please. It’s white-hot.”
He hums a dirty little ditty, then his expression shifts to serious. “In there,” he says, tipping his forehead to the cabin, “I meant everything I said.” His eyes are etched with honesty and a vulnerability that reaches into my chest and grabs hold of my heart, squeezing it tightly. The way he looks at me makes me want to run inside, call Perri, and ask for forgiveness and then permission, because this man is all I want.
But this isn’t about her right now. Because I don’t know that Shaw wants the same things I do. If he doesn’t—and I still have no reason to think he does—Perri doesn’t need my confession. Not if tonight is all there is.
Oh, but if he does want the same things . . .
He is, at the very least, worth testing the waters.
“What do you mean?” I ask, hope wrapping around me.
With the pad of his thumb, he strokes my chin. “I’ve wanted you for so damn long. I’ve wanted to kiss you, I swear, since . . .”
My heart somersaults. He’s so close to voicing what I feel, something worth rocking the boat with my best friend. “Since when?”
He gazes at me, stroking my arms, threading his hands in my hair. “I can’t stop touching you. I just can’t.”
“Don’t stop, then.”
Curling a big hand around the back of my head, he draws me in for another kiss. My skin tingles, and pleasure tightens in me, swirling in my core.
“Since high school,” he answers when he breaks the kiss. “High school and college and ever since.”
I smile a big, dopey grin. “Same here.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely.”
I seal my mouth to his, kissing him in a tender, gentle way I hope intoxicates him like he’s done to me.
He sweeps his tongue over mine, and we’re both melting into each other. We kiss for long minutes, the jets of the hot tub hitting us, the bubbles jamming out their own background soundtrack, the snow tumbling from the sky. I’m falling, too, under the spell of tonight. Falling far. Falling hard.
“What took us so long to do this?” he asks when we stop.
This.
I need to remember what this is.
I can’t fall harder. I need to fall out.
Right now, we are only passing the time. This is a plan to get him out of my system. To eradicate all my wild emotions so I can walk away and finally stop comparing other men to him.
I’m having him, so I can move on from him.
But it feels so good to tell him what I want. “Maybe because a certain someone didn’t want us to,” I tease.
Laughing, he sets a finger to my lips. “Don’t say her name. It’s just you and me tonight.”
And that reminds me yet again that this is for tonight. So I’ll take tonight. I run my hands through his damp hair. “By the way, I presume you’re spending the night.”
He laughs, tossing his head back. “You’re not kicking me out now, snow bunny. The roads are closed, the snow isn’t stopping, and I don’t even have any service on my cell.”
“You need a cell to drive?”
“I need a cell if there’s a problem. I’m a fireman. We’re trained to deal with emergencies, and I find it best if we don’t cause any, but should I encounter any, I want to be prepared. A working cell helps.”
I wiggle my eyebrows. “Well, you can put out the fires here, then.”
He gazes appreciatively at me as he slides his hands along my thighs. “You got a fire I need to extinguish?”
I dip my hand between his legs and squeeze his erection. “I think we both do.”
He groans, his eyelids hooded. “Fuck, that’s good.”
I bury my face in his neck, kissing