considered that. “What do you mean?”
“Well, they don’t really get to pick and choose. They think they do. But… their lives are controlled by the will of the masses a lot more than they realize. Like I think if the Players put out this album and the fans decided they didn’t like it, it would crush the band members. And Cary. They try to act like that kind of stuff is irrelevant, that it’s all about the music, but I know they thrive on the fame, too. The love. Even Cary. When you’re that high… it’s a long, long way to fall.”
Yeah. That sure was one way to put it.
Cary had fallen so, so far, when his best friend died. That much was obvious. He acted like he didn’t want the fame. He tossed it away. Rejected it. Closed the door on it, quite literally.
Or at least that was how it looked from the outside.
But I’d been on the inside. Inside his world, as small as it was these days. And I knew it still mattered to him. That was why he obsessed over the albums. That was why he was a perfectionist and pretty much a workaholic. Or at least, that was part of the reason.
If an album he produced bombed… I knew he’d be devastated. He’d take it personally, even if he shouldn’t. Even if it had nothing to do with how good the music was, and way more to do with the marketplace or how the record company didn’t promote it properly or whatever.
“Have you ever dated one of them?” I asked Merritt. “A rock star, I mean?”
She laughed a little, uneasily. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
I studied her for a moment as she looked out over the water, her dark hair dancing around her shoulders. Merritt was pretty, like super cool and pretty. So I wasn’t sure what that response was about.
Maybe she felt me staring, because she looked at me. Her brown eyes twinkled as she smiled. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I mean, rock stars aren’t really my thing.”
“Yeah. Me neither.” I looked away, taking a sip of my drink.
They really weren’t my thing. Even when Danica met Ash… I was happy for her. She was so into him, and he was definitely hot. He treated her well from the beginning. And I loved rock bands, rock music. But I just never saw myself with a famous musician. I always thought I liked guys who were down to Earth. Everyday, real world guys.
But in the end, the real world guys I dated hadn’t been all that good to me. Not nearly as good to me as Cary had been.
At least… he’d been good to me for a while.
“So, I’m gonna ask. Are you having a bad day?” Merritt asked me. “Or is this just you hungover?”
I laughed a little. “The wedding was pretty wild.”
“I heard. Everyone says it was incredible.”
“It really was. It was the biggest wedding I’ve ever been to, but it was also really personal. The bride’s dad cried. It was gorgeous.” My voice actually broke a little. I was feeling really emotional today. The wedding last night, the whole scene, it was so emotional for me.
“Do you want to talk?” she offered. “We could be friends?”
“Sure. I’d really like that. But… there’s not much to talk about. I just… had one of those summers that break you.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, and I wondered if she’d put two-and-two together. Me getting fired and disappearing. And seeing me like this—so not okay.
I wasn’t exactly hiding it well right now.
“Yeah. Me too.” Tears sparked in my eyes and I looked over the water. “It still hits me in waves.” I cleared my throat. “Some days… I still feel like it might take me under at any moment.”
Merritt was quiet for a bit. I wasn’t sure what I could expect her to say to that. A virtual stranger, pouring out their heart to you….
“Well…” she said. “How about this. Whenever you feel like that wave is going to take you under… you can message me or call me to talk. I’m a good listener.”
I blinked back the tears. I nodded.
“I’ve had my share of broken times, too,” she confided.
“Okay. I’d like that.”
“Good. I guess I should head back up. Check on my kiddo.” She got to her feet.
“I’ll probably head up soon, too. Help prep some food.”
“I’ll see you at dinner, then.”
“Yeah. And thanks, Merritt.”
“Anytime.” She hesitated before walking