the camera. Or at me, I supposed. I could’ve just explained to Jolie who he was, but I figured the photo probably got the point across faster. “Here.” I handed the phone to her.
“Whoa.” Jolie pushed her glasses up her nose and adjusted the distance of the phone from her face, seeking sharper focus. “Did I say whoa? I meant holy fucking shit. Where the hell do you find these guys?”
“What do you mean?”
Jolie almost rolled her eyes. “You two always date the hottest guys. Tell her,” she said to Danica, but Danica just innocently sipped her drink. So Jolie went on. “Your last boyfriend was so bangable, Taylor, even I kinda wanted to do him. I mean, I wouldn’t. But you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, well, apparently a lot of other girls thought he was bangable, too,” I said. “You know, while I was with him. And he reciprocated the kindness. Which is why I’m not with him anymore.”
“Right,” she said.
“Dominic was a grade A asshole,” I reminded her. “This one is actually a good human being.”
“Like as good on the inside as he looks on the outside?” Jolie inquired, still examining the pic on my phone. She was moving her fingers on the screen like she was scrolling in. At what, I wasn’t sure.
“So far,” I said.
“Well, nice catch. I’m happy for you.”
She held the phone out to me just as Danica’s twin sister, Daniella, slipped up behind her.
“Oh, now that is what I’m talking about,” Daniella said. “Who is that?” She snatched the phone from Jolie’s hand and tossed her purse on the table. “If you don’t want him, Jolie, I’ll take him. This guy is totally my type.”
I plucked my phone from her hand. “No thank you.”
Daniella laughed. “No? Who is he?”
“Absolutely no. Get your own.”
“He’s Taylor’s new boss,” Danica supplied.
“Ooh, juicy,” Jolie said. “A workplace romance?”
“Sounds like someone likes her new job,” Daniella said. “And her new boss.”
“My new job is great,” I informed her. “And I like him very much. And if you ever eat him with your eyes like that again I will do very nasty things to your drink when you’re not looking.”
Really, you had to be firm with a girl like Daniella Vola. Girls who ate men alive and spit them back out, destroyed. She grinned at me, slowly. “Wow. Kitten’s got claws.”
“Yes, I do. And I will sharpen them on your face if you say a single dirty word about him.”
Dani feigned shock and innocence. “I just said he’s handsome.”
“Shush. He’s special,” Danica told her sister. “And… it’s complicated.”
“I see that.” Dani was sizing me up, her blue eyes narrowing. “Does he have any special friends you might introduce me to?”
“I’ll let you know.”
Maybe when hell freezes over and you grow a soul.
My best friend’s twin looked around, already bored with the conversation. “Where’s the waitress? I’m thirsty.”
“Me, too,” Jolie said. Then she uttered the war cry of every young woman on ladies’ night in a bar since the beginning of time. “Let’s do shots!”
One of the bartenders made this shooter called a Punch Drunk Pussy, which was not on the menu, for obvious reasons, but our waitress was cool and recommended a round. All I knew was it was pink and by the fifth one I forgot what was in it.
Then the sexting started.
Me: I just devoured five punch drunk pussies.
Me: Wait. Six.
Cary: Tell me more.
Me: They were pink and delicious.
Me: I think they were booze. I’m slurring.
Cary: Where are you?
Me: Bar.
I took a sip of my cocktail—it was also pink—and checked to make sure no one was gonna bust me for being on my phone. Then I discretely checked it again.
Cary: What are you wearing under your dress?
Now there was an interesting question.
Me: Why…?
Cary: I need a visual.
Me: I forget.
Me: Purple lace thong. I think.
Danica poked me. “Whatcha doin’?” She looked and sounded drunk, her blue eyes all hazy, and I grinned.
She giggled.
“Sexting,” I said. “Let’s order more shots.”
She did. A couple of Daniella’s girlfriends arrived and our table filled up. The music had gotten louder and the place was getting packed.
After I said hi to everyone, I checked my phone again.
Cary: Take off your panties and send me a pic.
Whoa.
Okay. I really, really wanted to do that. Right now.
I’d never done that for a guy before.
But Cary Clarke was totally the guy you did that for because he ordered you to.
Me: You’re so pretty and bossy.
Cary: Is that a compliment?
Me: Yes.
Cary: I’m waiting for my pic.
Me: See?