involuntarily kick the table with my leg, anger and frustration boiling over. I can’t do this. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be weak, that, I, Lorenzo King, would fall to my knees. When you live a life like mine, you know nothing but strength and power, and without either, I feel lesser than less.
With all my strength, I shove from the sofa, my mind blazing with things I can’t control. Is loving her making me weak, or is it me bringing myself down?
“You’re what you make of yourself, Lorenzo,” My mother whispered in my ear as she ran her fingers through my hair.
I can’t do this, Mom. I can’t fucking do this… My chest was heaving, and as I whipped open the back door to run, I realized I had nowhere to go
“You’re stronger than this, Figlio… You can do this. I believe in you.” Her voice was a mere whisper in my mind, rattling my heart so much so making me feel as if I would pass out at any point in time. Instead, I sunk to my knees in the back yard. The darkness encompassed me, and it was a welcoming feeling.
“Come on, Lorenzo. We must be going now,” my mother yelled… She was always telling me what to do. Sometimes I wore the wrong shoes, or the tie I had on didn’t look good. She wanted me to be perfect… but for what?
“Mom, I don’t want to go,” I bellowed. Whining never did me any good anyway. Why I was trying it now, I didn’t know.
Looking me straight in the eyes, she smiled. It was breathtaking, beautiful in its own way.
“We all do lots of things we don’t want to, Lorenzo. That’s the lesson in life. Sometimes things are hard, and it’s impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” she said, adjusting my tie like I knew she would.
“But, once you reach the end of the tunnel, you can look back and say, ‘that wasn’t so hard, now was it?’” she added.
I pondered what she said for a moment before asking my own questions… “Have you ever had to do something like that?”
Her head tipped to the side as she examined her work, and for a second, I thought she wouldn’t answer me. Then she bent down to my eye level and stared at me for a moment.
“We all have things we don’t want to do. I have done my fair share of things I never wanted to do, as have many of the people around you. There will come a time in your own life when you have to make choices and do things you don’t want to do. When the chance arises, grab it and hold on. You will come out a new person in the end.”
The memory spirals out before I can finish my thought, and I come to my senses, feeling the plush carpet beneath my hands. Tears stream down my face, and as I wipe them away, more appear, like they are mocking me.
There is no other way around all of this. The woman had my heart from the start, and I know there is no going back. In the end, I’ll give up the mafia for the woman I love.
16
Mack
“You had a chance to take her, and you didn’t?” I shout, pounding my fist on the table. The bitch was right within our grasp, and yet he allowed her to slip away, yet again. He better have a good fucking reason.
“Amara and I became well acquainted at the club before Lorenzo had the chance to interrupt things.” Eli smirks like he is just delighted with himself. His eyes are shining so bright, I know exactly what he is thinking about. The idea of getting my hands on her has been running through my mind as well.
“That doesn’t explain why you let her fucking go.”
“I have a plan, Mack. Let me worry about working it all out, and you worry about how you’re going to kill Lorenzo.” The way he is talking to me has me wanting to put a bullet through his head. I have to stop the impulse to pick up my gun and pull the trigger. The satisfaction of making Lorenzo bleed will be well worth it though.
“I have to earn their trust to make this work. Still working on Enzo, but I have Amara wrapped around my finger already.” He snickers. “She let me feel her up and