woman, and if you care about your job in the least bit, you’ll take the high fucking road.”
“Enzo…” Amara says in a hushed tone.
“No. It’s not okay to be disrespectful.”
“Honey, you need to get your dog on a fucking leash.” The waitress, whose name I didn’t get, walks away.
“Bitch…” I’m this close to reaching for my fucking gun and placing a bullet in her head. Guess Pleasant-Fucking-Ville’s crime rate will go up to one with me around.
“You need to relax, Enzo. This is the real world. There are no mafia people here. She is a waitress in a shitty diner, having a bad day. You have to learn to adjust to this being normal shit. You can’t just go around ordering people around and pulling your gun out.” Amara all but scolds me.
“I didn’t pull my gun out,” I shrug, “I thought about it, though.”
Arching an eyebrow, she quips, “Really, so when I watched your hand slip to your back, it wasn’t just to grab your wallet so you could leave a nice tip?” Is she mocking me? “Looked like you were doing more than thinking.”
“I will have you know, I can fucking get my gun out whenever I want.”
Snorting, she glares. “You act like I’m taking a piece of your manhood or something?”
“It’s my gun, and if I want to put a bullet in her head, I will.” I take another bite of my food, and then a drink of water, waiting for her to eat her own food.
Shaking her head, she turns her attention to something out the window. “And to think I actually thought maybe you were changing. Thinking maybe you had left behind the murderous person I met months ago.”
Desperately, I want to tell her I have—but the truth is I haven’t. I’ve covered him up. I’ve pushed a part of me to the bottom… but there is no changing. It’s always going to be there.
“If you thought that part of me was gone, you’re naïve. I was born into this life, Amara. I will never allow that part of me to go away. It’s been ingrained into me since the start of life. If I had a choice, believe me when I say I would’ve made one.”
I can all but feel the sadness seep into both of us. There is an ocean forming between us. I thought I actually saved her, brought her out of the dark, but maybe it’s me who is still keeping her in the dark. Maybe I’m what’s hurting her the most.
“Everyone has a choice, Enzo. Everyone has a chance to change things for the better. Your past doesn’t define you and without a future path outlined, you’re free to do whatever you want.”
What is she saying? I’m growing angry from simple confusion.
“There is no path to choose from, Amara. No path to walk along. My path was chosen long before you came along.”
How can I change something I never had a choice in? How the fuck did we even get to this subject? We’re supposed to have a simple dinner, just like normal people.
“I didn’t me—”
“No, you did. The mafia will always run in your blood, and I get that. I seriously fucking do. You’ve lost so much and dealt with so much pain, I knew it wouldn’t be easy to get over. Just know, the person who raised me from birth died at your hands, and I had to learn to deal with my anger elsewhere…”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I bark, drawing attention to us. I don’t care though. I’ve no idea what she means with that statement.
“You need to get over whatever is inside of you holding you back from moving on. I know you watched your mom die, but I watched you kill John. Looks like we aren’t far from one another, after all.”
Still reeling from her words, lost in my own mind, I barely register when she gets up. Where the fuck does she think she is going?
Gripping the table to the point of pain, I push myself up, throwing a fifty down before I go after her.
As soon as I’m out the door, I run to her, grabbing her by the lapels of her coat. Spinning her around, I turn her to face me. Her cheeks are streaked with fresh tears.
“You want to tell me what the fuck is going on because I’m confused here.” Frustrated with the whole situation, I start rubbing my palm against my head. I don’t know how