to my room, stripped, then jumped in the shower. As the water sluiced over my body, I reached for my cock, hoping a good jerk would settle the restlessness inside me this morning. I could never bring myself to click on my favorite porn sites anymore. Not after Sienna got an eyeful that one day. Now I relied on my hand or, on rare occasions, met someone for a quick hookup in town, though the idea of sneaking away turned my stomach. Like I was doing something dirty instead of fulfilling a need.
But I was only human, and sometimes the idea of pumping solidly into someone’s fist or body overcame me. It was the only time I could truly let go and find a bit of satisfaction in the process. Hell, I’d even taken it up the ass a couple of times just to feel the burn all week and know I had finally connected to my baser instincts.
I’d get it out of my system, then throw myself back into farm work. And for the most part, it fulfilled its purpose. Except it did little to alleviate my desire to feel a deeper connection to someone again.
The idea of us against the world. Sienna and I experienced that now to some extent—most likely everyone did when co-parenting—but we no longer spent much time together as friends, not unless it involved Ainsley or the farm. And sometimes…sometimes I missed my friend.
Pushing that thought aside, I envisioned my last hookup, the man’s thick cock in my hand, and that did the trick. I groaned, spurting my seed into my fist, my muscles finally relenting, and I sagged against the wall. It was just the release I needed.
As I watched my come wash down the drain, the all-too-brief euphoria was already beginning to fade. But I had so much else to be grateful for. The fact that I got to keep my family intact was worth more to me than a good roll in the hay. I had the rest of my life to worry about those other feelings. Of having something more meaningful in my life. It just wasn’t in the cards for me right now.
3
Julian
I got off the plane at Jackson Hole Airport, which was located in the Grand Teton National Park, and even the view from the sky had been impressive. Sienna waved from the baggage claim area, and seeing her again in person after so long felt surreal—a bit like recapturing some of my childhood. She had my aunt’s fair coloring; her daughter, Ainsley, did as well. At least from what I saw on social-media posts.
“Long time, no see,” Sienna said with a grin, pulling me into a hug.
“Tell me about it.”
As I drew back, she twined her fingers through the hair at my ear. “I haven’t seen you without a buzz cut in ages. Looks good.”
“Thanks.” It had honestly felt good to grow it out the past year, but also strange and a little bit like a betrayal to my former battalion. It didn’t make much sense, except that there were rites of passage from becoming a soldier, and closely cropped hair was one of them.
Once I retrieved my suitcase, I followed Sienna to the parking lot. Her pickup truck with the Firefly Farm insignia splayed across the door in bright green and blue colors was instantly recognizable from the photos Mom had shown me.
“Why the Firefly name, by the way?” I asked as I slid onto the passenger seat. “If I’m not mistaken, there aren’t any in the Northwest.”
She smiled as she turned the key in the ignition. “Remember the summers we visited you guys in the city?”
A childhood memory flashed through my mind—all the cousins from both sides of the family camping in the backyard of my paternal uncle’s house on Long Island. There was a bonfire and s’mores and tons of fireflies lighting up the sky along with the moon.
“That’s right, you were fascinated by them,” I said as we exited the parking lot.
“I think I even tried to bottle a couple and bring them back with me,” she mused. “Didn’t work out so well.”
“Now it all makes sense.” I cracked a smile. “It’s a good name. I like it.”
“Thanks.” We slid into the busy traffic from the airport, likely filled with visitors since summer was a popular time for the national park. But once we were driving on the mostly deserted backroads through Cottonwood Creek, everything seemed so wide open.
For the first time in