like I’d guessed. Going on pure instinct, I slid my hand down to his neck, brushed my knuckles across his throat before encircling it. His raw moan made my chest tight and achy, and I got harder just watching him as his gaze stayed pinned to mine.
I licked an outline around his luscious mouth, and when the tip of his tongue flicked out to meet mine, it felt like a jolt of lightning. Groaning, I parted his lips with my tongue, pushing inside and swallowing every sexy sound.
We stayed like that, eating from each other’s mouths, and when I eventually released his wrists, his hands gripped my waist roughly and he pulled me tightly against him. The feel of his cock rubbing against mine would keep my fantasies alive for years to come.
Julian was panting and moaning as he attacked my neck and jaw and ear, then kissed me so hard, it was sure to leave my lips bruised. I couldn’t fucking get enough of him, but I was quickly brought back to my senses by a noise outside.
I drew back and swiped at my mouth, my gaze swinging wildly around the space, only to spot Phoebe and Hamlet at the entrance, caked in mud.
“Goddamn,” I said, bending at the waist and trying like hell to get my breathing under control. “We should’ve never—”
“I know you’re worried what this might look like, and so am I, but we’re also consenting adults.” His voice was rough, and tinged with frustration. “So why the hell not?”
I strode toward the door, turning back once before making my exit. “Because now I’ll never get the taste of you out of my head.”
15
Julian
It’d been a week. A whole fucking week since Kerry stepped into the silo and rocked my world, and I kept licking my lips, chasing the flavor of him that was long gone.
I had to rub one out a couple of times to try to shake him from my head, but it didn’t do much to dissuade the ache of longing in my bones every time we were around each other.
Unless I was mistaken, it was the same for him. The first couple of mornings I’d shown up in the barn—obviously to torture myself—he seemed surprised I came at all. His actions would be almost perfunctory, and every time we brushed by each other to reach for the pump or a bucket, I could hear his intake of breath.
I felt nauseous about it, started second-guessing myself, and wondered if I had forced the issue between us…until I remembered it was him who’d kissed me. And what a kiss it was. The way he’d held my wrists so tight in his grasp, then placed his other hand around my throat… Fuck, it was everything I didn’t know I needed. And I wanted more. But he was drawing a fine line in the sand between us. One I needed to respect.
So this morning I’d rolled out of bed a bit later than usual after a night of tumultuous dreams. I was grateful I hadn’t woken Kerry because that was exactly not the kind of attention I needed from him.
But I felt exhausted from reliving that day in the desert on an endless loop, knowing the roadside bomb was about to detonate and that nothing I tried in warning worked. Smith and Miller just kept looking down at Arash’s basket of goods, unaware they were about to be blown to pieces.
I considered skipping the barn but didn’t want it to appear like I was bailing, so I made sure to get there the same time as Sienna and helped with the goats. Kerry looked at me across the stall with a questioning glance, which made me wonder if he could tell I’d had a rough night—or maybe it was because I was acting more standoffish than normal.
Except, I was giving him exactly what he wanted, right?
It was for the best anyway, or I was liable to be in a world of hurt.
Afterward, I got to work at the silo, finishing up some shelves I was building that Sienna had requested. I always loved the smell of fresh lumber, and there was something satisfying about the tempo of measuring and cutting, using the electric saw George had hauled over for me on the tractor. The loud buzzing sound kept me out of my own head. No way I wanted to mess up on the proportions and have to start all over again. Once Sienna approved the stain