the way. No way I wanted to make a misstep and…what? Get blown apart? That was a bit much, but somehow my brain wasn’t registering the incongruity, and instead, my fight-or-flight reaction would take over at a moment’s notice.
In this situation, nobody would get hurt. The horse was behind a fence, for Christ’s sake. What would he do, jump over and kick me in the head? Maybe it would help set my mind right, like in those stupid cartoons where the character’s head gets rung like a bell.
But it was more than some deep-seated fear of the unknown. It was about looking like a fool in front of someone I admired. That was what this was, this itch under my skin for Kerry—I admired him, hoped to be half the man he was. That was all. Right?
I mean, outside of my wild attraction to him. Ugh.
“Actually,” Kerry said, reaching back in his pocket, “I have a couple more, even if they’re a bit worse for wear. Want to feed Mercy?”
“I sort of do.” I stepped forward. “But I’m… I’m being ridiculous.”
As soon as Mercy spotted Kerry lifting the carrot in my direction he came closer, wanting a treat too.
“No, you’re not.” Kerry’s voice was soft, soothing. “Watch how easy it is. You don’t even have to make contact, unless you want to.”
Kerry broke the top off and threw it away from Rocket, so he’d step back to retrieve it, leaving only Mercy at the fence. Kerry held the very end of the carrot, and Mercy gently slid it from his grasp with his teeth, never making contact with his hand.
“Last one,” he said, holding up a miserable-looking carrot.
Jesus, I’d been a soldier and at war in a foreign land, but I couldn’t feed a damned horse? I squared my shoulders and fished the carrot from his grasp. I got this.
As soon as I stretched my hand forward, I quickly drew it back, chickening out at the last minute. Fuck.
I dipped my head as my cheeks heated, and was about to step away with some sort of flimsy excuse when I felt Kerry’s hand land on top of mine. My breath hitched as he guided my arm toward the horse, and it was the exact thing I needed—for someone to take over and help me overcome my stupid apprehension. And somehow, with the heat of his palm searing into my knuckles, I felt braver. My mind blanked out all the noise, and I just focused on the breathtaking animal in front of me.
Kerry turned my hand over, palm up, his fingers ghosting mine from beneath as we offered the treat to Mercy. Mercy seemed to hesitate, then stepped forward, and I watched as he snuffled and angled his head in the carrot’s direction. The gentle way he slid the carrot out of my trembling hand told me he was as vigilant about me as I was about him.
“Good boy,” Kerry said, and I swallowed thickly, still watching Mercy intently while also not wanting to make any sudden movements like Mom had taught me so many years ago. As he stood chewing his treat, I zeroed in on details I hadn’t had the opportunity to notice before, like his long eyelashes and deep-set brown eyes. He also had a small white patch of hair on his muzzle in the shape of a triangle, and I wondered about its texture.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, feeling a bit absurd. And still neither of us moved as our forearms rested on top of the enclosure. I could feel Kerry’s soft pants against the side of my neck and smell his earthy scent, and I didn’t know which situation made me feel more vulnerable in front of him—this or the nightmare.
“Don’t be embarrassed. You did good,” he said, and I liked the soft yet assuring tone of his voice. “Mercy likes you.”
“How can you tell?” I angled my head to glance at him.
“Just can.” When he added slight pressure to my hand, my palm tingled. But he didn’t seem to realize the effect he was having on me. “You can pet him. He’d probably let you.”
“Will you…um…” I winced, trailing off. God, I felt like I was five years old, but Kerry didn’t question me or poke fun, simply stretched our joined hands out again toward his muzzle. And before I could freak out, my fingers met soft, sleek hair. Mercy seemed to enjoy the attention because he slanted closer, and we stood petting him for another long