was in bed fucking my friend. I don’t even know what he said, to be honest with you. I was completely zoned out. When I finally had the wits about me to leave, I turned and walked out. Mary and Jase called for a few days, but I ignored their calls. Ignored them both in school. Eventually they both stopped trying, and I was once again left alone.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve to be betrayed by the two of them like that.”
I sighed. “I’m not looking for you to feel sorry for me, Tanner. It didn’t take me long to realize they weren’t worth it, but it still rocked me to the core. I’ve had a hard time trusting anyone since.”
“And the text just now?” he asked as he glanced down to my phone on the sofa. “You looked like you were gonna be sick.”
“I was caught off guard, that’s all. It brought back those feelings of inadequacies I fought to push away.”
“What did it say?” he asked.
I sat up straighter. “It was from Mary. She said she hoped I had forgiven her and Jase. She sent a save the date for their wedding and said she hoped I would make it.”
Tanner seemed shocked. “She hasn’t talked to you since high school, and she invited you to her wedding?”
I shrugged. “Guess she wants another present.”
Silence filled the room, and I glanced at him. He looked confused.
“Are you upset he’s marrying her?”
“No!” I clenched my hands together. “God, Tanner, not at all. I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I was surprised. And it reminded me of all the stupid issues I have.”
He sat back, watching me carefully. “So, you got a notice that your ex, who treated you like shit, is getting married, and that made you decide you can’t trust me? You’re basically putting me in the same category as that douchebag.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “That’s not it.”
A flash of anger crossed his face. “That is it, Timberlynn. You just told me you can’t trust me. Have I given you any reason why?”
I stood and let out a long, frustrated breath. “Tanner, as of thirty minutes ago, I was ready to give this a try. You and me. But I’m not sure I can take my heart being hurt again by someone else.”
“I wouldn’t hurt you, so why won’t you even give me a chance?”
My chin wobbled, and I turned away from him. I knew with all my heart that Tanner wouldn’t hurt me. It was me who would end up hurting him. There was something that made me unworthy of love, and Tanner would end up seeing it sooner or later. “You deserve someone better than me. Someone not…broken.”
“For fuck’s sake, you’re not broken, Timberlynn.”
Tears threatened to spill free as I turned to face him. My voice was barely a whisper. “I’m not sure if I gave you my body that I’d be able to survive walking away from you after that. I don’t want to ruin our friendship for a fuck.”
He jumped like I had slapped him. “Back to this again? A fuck? Is that what it would be, Timberlynn? Just a quick fuck, and then you think I’d walk away from you? Do you honestly think that’s all I want from you?”
“I heard from someone today in town you danced with nearly every girl in the Blue Moose last night before you left. You didn’t come home, so who did you sleep with last night when you couldn’t sleep with me?”
His mouth opened, and he looked taken aback. “What?”
I instantly regretted the words. But something inside me was angry. Maybe it had to do with Mary and Jase, and I was taking it out on Tanner. I couldn’t stop the words coming from my mouth. “You denying what happened last night will only make me think it’s the truth.”
He gave me a sarcastic smile and then rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. “You think because you pushed me away last night I went and found some random girl to hook-up with?”
“I don’t know what you did last night,” I stated.
He shot daggers at me as he answered. “I went to the Blue Moose. Danced with some old friends from high school, and a cousin of mine I hadn’t seen in a while. Yes, I drank some, and yes, I saw Lindsey there. But nothing happened between us. Nothing. I left with Chance and stayed at