breath away. No man had ever looked at me like that. Tanner made me feel different, in the most amazing way. But how could I be sure it wasn’t all an act? The few guys I had dated had been sweet, but it didn’t take them long to show their true colors. Most simply wanted sex. Plain and simple. How could I be sure of anything when it came to Tanner?
I was losing my focus and forgetting all the reasons that I was here. I pushed away all thoughts of my past and drew in a deep breath.
But a tiny voice inside me was saying that maybe, for once in my life, I needed to let go of my fears. The question was, could I actually do it?
Chapter Nine
TANNER
It didn’t take Timberlynn long to strike up a conversation as we rode back down to the valley. “Your older brothers all did bull riding?” she asked as we rode side by side.
“Not all of them. My brother Beck wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with the rodeo.”
I could feel her eyes on me. “I haven’t met Beck yet,” she said.
With a deep breath in, I let it out slowly. “Damn, I’m sorry. I thought you knew. My brother Beck died in the Marines a few years ago. My mother didn’t really like to talk about him until recently. For a long time, she sorta pretended he was off on a mission and would be back home.”
Timberlynn stared at me with a blank expression.
“Again, I’m sorry. I figured Kaylee told you about him. It’s okay, I don’t mind talking about it. In fact, it makes me feel closer to Beck when I do. For years, Ty and Brock followed my mother’s silence. It wasn’t until recently that we really started to speak about him a lot more. I think it had to do with Lincoln and Kaylee coming into the family. They showed us it was okay to talk about it. To begin to heal from the loss.”
When Timberlynn didn’t say anything, I glanced her way. She looked white as a ghost.
I slowed down my horse, which caused Rosie to slow down as well. The horses came to a stop and I leaned over and touched Timberlynn’s leg. “Hey, it’s okay, you didn’t know.”
She swallowed hard and then quickly looked away.
“You don’t have to feel bad for asking about him, Timberlynn, honestly.”
“It’s not…I…I know how your mother feels, that’s all.” When she finally looked back at me, she attempted to smile but failed. I saw the sadness in her eyes and waited for her to decide if she wanted to tell me what caused it.
She looked down and spoke so low, I had to strain to hear her. “I lost my mother when I was six. It was a car accident. My father told me to keep my eyes closed, not to look.”
Her voice shook slightly, and I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her.
“He handed me to another person and ran over to my mother. I tried not to look, but I did. And I still sometimes have nightmares about what I saw. My father holding my mother. She was…already gone, I think. He’s never told me. He won’t talk about my mom. Ever.”
She quickly wiped a tear away and stared straight ahead. “I really wish I hadn’t looked.”
My lungs felt as if someone had reached in and ripped them out of my chest. I had a hard time finding air to breathe for a few moments as I let her words settle into my head. “Timberlynn, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
She finally lifted her gaze back to mine, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. The urge to jump off my horse and pull her into my arms was so strong, I had to will myself not to move. I hated to see women cry, but that single tear making a path down this particular woman’s cheek did something strange to me. I would have done anything to take her pain away.
With a quick sweep of her hand, the tear was gone, and she was sitting up straight once again. Her voice was clear and strong, as if she hadn’t just told me her mother had been taken from her at the age of six. “I never talk about that day. I’m not even sure I’ve ever told anyone outside of a therapist all of that before,” she said with a nervous chuckle.