want to.” She bounced slowly, rhythmically. “Because the thing is, if I disappeared, then you wouldn’t find me. I wouldn’t have to be scared anymore.”
“You’re obviously upset.” His voice was calm, reasonable. “Get down so we can talk.”
She hesitated. Wondered if talking could work.
“I trusted you.” She bounced harder. “I believed everything you said.” Each bounce lifted her a little higher. Each thunk bolstered her more. “I did anything you wanted. I gave you everything.” She launched herself several feet into the air. There was the illusion of being out of control, but then she landed on the narrow plank, caught her balance. “I never complained, I never told anyone the truth about all those times you hurt me.”
“Come on, Ria. Get down.” He was begging now. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he sounded worried. Maybe even scared. “If you turn around and climb down that ladder, we can figure things out. Together. You’ll see how things really are.”
“But I see everything from here.” She opened her arms wide.
“Don’t do something you’ll regret.”
Someone, somewhere, splashed in the pool. Voices were building in the silence, or maybe they’d never stopped. Time went on, always. There was no pause button, no way to stop and move in reverse. It was too late for regret. She had to go on.
“I chipped my tooth that day in Los Angeles. When I fell, I hit it on a rail. I never told anyone. I’ve been too used to keeping your secrets.”
“That fall was your own damn fault. Your head got screwed up. Like it is right now.”
He was right, but wrong, too. They’d both gotten so many things wrong.
“You’re the reason I ran at that meet. You, Benny. I was scared of you.” Tears streamed down her face, taking with them the embarrassment of that day when she saw the shock, the confusion of everyone who couldn’t understand why she ran.
“I didn’t touch you.” His voice had turned hard.
“You didn’t have to. You’d trained me to be scared. Every hit, kick, slap. All the times you screamed and pushed. All that training.” She ignored the tremble in her voice and kept going. “You know what the hardest, scariest part of the dive is for me now? It’s when I come up for air and see you, Benny. I never know when you’re going to hurt me. Or why. But I always know you can.”
“That’s enough!” He turned and kicked the deck chair. The way he’d kicked her, too many times to count. “Get down here or . . .”
He charged toward the ladder. For a terrible moment Fear was there, taking all her air. But there was another blur of movement, all across the deck as her teammates moved, rushing to beat him there. Her team stood at the base of the ladder, blocking him.
Sean’s whistle blew, loud and sharp. Warning. Reassuring.
Maggie slipped through the crowd and headed up to join Ria on the board. She moved beside her, their shoulders touching.
Benny crossed his arms, glaring. “You’re blowing your future all over again.”
“You mean yours. I can still dive without you. You need us—all of us—we’re the ones on the board. Without us, you’re nothing. I’m going to tell the NDT about you. I’m going to tell everyone.”
“You really think the NDT will want you knowing what a head case you are?” He laughed, cold and steely. “You’ve lost it worse than I thought.”
She faltered, then felt Maggie squeeze her hand.
“You’re right. I have lost something. I’ve lost part of myself. The fierce fighter part. The part of me who would have saved herself today. The part of me who would never hesitate at a second chance with the NDT. But that’s because you stole it from me. And now I’m taking it back. You don’t get to take anything more. Not from me, or anyone else.”
“We’re done. It’s over!” He turned and headed for the exit, awfully close to running.
Ria had never felt so sure she had the right answer. But being right didn’t mean being safe.
“What happened to you?” Maggie stared into her eyes, looking worried, like she cared.
“It’s a long story. A long way from there to here. I have so much to tell you.”
“Then let’s get out of here. I think we’d better hurry. Security is coming.”
She was still wearing her muddy clothes, but she couldn’t take them off, couldn’t let go.
“How?”
“More up than out.” Maggie grinned.
“Come with me,” she begged.
Maggie knew what she meant. They’d done this before.