joined her on top of a flat boulder, she made no move to climb down. They sat in the sun, feeling the heat stored in the stone beneath them. She wished she’d brought water. She’d hate to leave simply because they were thirsty.
Sitting still, all the thoughts she’d been not-thinking poked her brain again.
The NDT wanted her. Getting a chance to train for the Olympics was what she’d worked for. But she’d given up that hope. She’d resigned herself to living with a dive-shaped hole in her heart. Recently the hole had started to shrink. She wasn’t sure how to fit it back in.
“This has been very helpful, working on potential climbing experiences,” said Cotton.
“But we don’t know what we’ll find in the cave. Not for sure.”
“That’s why we need to go. So we find out.”
“It’s all so uncertain and unknown. Don’t you worry?”
He frowned, tilted his head. Made her wait.
“The cave requires being careful and aware, but the possibilities for trouble are limited. There’s limited uncertainty.”
Limited uncertainty. That sounded manageable. Contained.
“I want to tell you something, Cotton. Okay?”
“You don’t need permission to tell me something. That’s how conversations work.”
“I just haven’t told anyone else yet.” She laughed.
“I’m listening.”
“I’ve received an official invitation to join the NDT.”
“The NDT that’s a VBD?”
“Yes, exactly. It means a whole year of special training before the Olympic trials.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” For a minute she let herself be happy. “It’s in Colorado.”
“That’s approximately one thousand five hundred miles away.”
“Oh. I know it’s far.” It wasn’t the distance that nagged at her. “I don’t know if I’m good enough. Or if I’ll fit in. Benny will come too, as my personal trainer. I didn’t know he’d be invited. But there will be new coaches, too.” She paused. “That means new rules.”
Just the thought of trying to adjust to new rules, regimens, and expectations started Fear’s murmurings. What if she freaked out again?
“With Benny, I know the rules. I know when he’s happy with my dives.”
And she knew what his angry looked like. Even when it was awful, at least she knew what was coming.
“Can’t you learn the new rules?” he asked. “Since you’re the one who has to do the dives.”
Some rules were never said. They had to be learned by breaking them.
“I have to trust my coach. I have to know I’m safe. But I have to push myself to do things that scare me, too. It sounds easy, but really, it’s impossible.”
“Everyone has their own impossible.”
He somehow managed to understand things he didn’t know anything about.
“I just had an idea, Cotton. Since we won’t be able to see as well in the cave, we should try climbing blindfolded.”
“Yes.”
A lightness bubbled up in her chest. “Really? You want to?”
“I don’t want to,” he said. “But I can see that it could assist with caving. And there is no point arguing. You have surprising and effective ideas. You are relentless and determined.”
His words hung in the air between them a minute. He meant that she was prone to obsessing, but he made it sound like a good thing. Fighting the sudden wave of shy washing over her, she said, “You could use your shirt as a blindfold.”
Cotton looked uncertain. Or was it embarrassed? It suddenly occurred to Ria that she was curious as to what he’d look like without a shirt. His body was so different from all the divers and swimmers she knew. Like Sean. Where they were lean and trim—and bare, due to both chlorine burns and shaving—Cotton wasn’t. She’d gotten used to his size, felt comfortable with the way he towered over her. Now, with the possibility of seeing his chest and back, her own skin felt warm and flushed.
She turned away, scolding her body into behaving. Not everything had to be about touching and kissing and . . . damn. Cotton never even acted interested in any of that. And, she had a boyfriend. That’s who she needed to be thinking about. But liking everything about Cotton didn’t mean she didn’t like Sean anymore.
“Maybe we’ll come back with an actual blindfold.” She bit back the word “tomorrow.” Somehow, it felt like making plans, setting up a time to get together, would be crossing a line. When they bumped into each other the way they did today, simply as a coincidence—that wasn’t anything to feel guilty about. Even if her body was reacting, making everything more confusing, it’s not like she’d done anything wrong. But making a date to get together, knowing full well