roses sat in the center.
She’d never liked the unforgiving color white.
“Let me help you,” Sean said, standing between her and the chair.
“Help me what?”
“Sit.”
“I’m trying.”
Finally, in her seat, Ria breathed deeply, trying to reset her attitude. To see this place the way Sean meant it.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She smiled at the waitress watching them from across the room. She leaned closer to his ear and whispered, “It’s so white. And breakable.”
“We’ll be careful.”
Ria studied the ornate menu. She couldn’t decipher the flowery cursive. “Do you think they have a kids’ menu?” she whispered.
“We’re getting the special.”
She closed the menu. Immediately the waitress was there to take their order, with lots of nods and murmurs of approval.
As she left them alone again, Ria folded her hands in her lap. She didn’t trust them not to suddenly throw something. It was the old impulse to immediately do whatever she wasn’t supposed to do. The one that had always led to her being seated at the front of the classroom.
“Isn’t this romantic?” asked Sean.
It was a very nice restaurant. She knew that, and yet she wanted nothing more than to run outside and scream at the top of her lungs. Even at dive meets, while waiting for her turn, the needing to be quiet would get to her, make her twitchy and restless. That’s when Benny would give her jobs to do. He’d have her bring snacks to refs, make her coach one of the younger kids, or she’d take pictures and videos. Any kind of job to keep her body busy.
She needed a job right now.
“I wanted to bring you somewhere special to celebrate.”
Her mind raced. It wasn’t her birthday. Or his, she was almost sure. Maybe it was their anniversary of something. She hoped he wouldn’t quiz her.
“Congratulations on getting picked for the NDT!” His smile was way too full of straight teeth, white and bright. “I mean, of course I’ll miss you, but this is perfect! Like your dives!”
Perfect was clearly a matter of perspective, and they had different views.
“Thanks,” she said carefully.
“You should have told me. Benny said you don’t like to brag.”
“Benny?”
“Yeah. He suggested this place.” He ducked his head, grinning sheepishly. “He’s even helping to pay for our meal.”
“Maggie,” she said, but Sean knew it was a question. He nodded. So Maggie knew about the NDT now, and Ria hadn’t told her. “What—” But her unclear, roaming question was cut off by the arrival of their food.
She was relieved to see the small portion on her plate. The sauce was delicious. At first. But then, suddenly, mid-bite, it tasted too rich and creamy. Suffocating.
“I need to use the restroom.” As she got up, she bumped the table. Water spilled on the tablecloth. “Oops.” She pulled her plate over the damp spot.
She ducked behind a partition painted with tiny pink flowers. The bathroom was barely big enough to turn around in. She could sit on the toilet and wash her hands at the same time if she wanted. She wet a paper towel and held it to the back of her neck. She had to power through, like any other workout. Only this time it was the inside of her stomach that was being forced to perform.
She returned to Sean, wearing her most convincing smile. But when she saw the food on her plate again, she couldn’t pretend.
“What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you eating?”
“Can we go? Please?”
He stared into her eyes, his expression hard to read. She wasn’t sure what she was trying to say either, except that she needed to escape.
She was so relieved to leave the crowded fluff of a place that they were already in the car and down the road before she remembered that she hadn’t looked over the dam. Disappointment made her eyes sting, but the look on Sean’s face kept her from complaining. She would not obsess about the damn dam. Her stomach ached, but it had nothing to do with the food.
“I’m sorry you didn’t like the restaurant.”
She stared at her reflection in the glass window. She looked muted and fuzzy. She leaned in, pressed her forehead against the cool, smooth surface and counted to ten.
“It’s not your fault.”
He hadn’t picked the place. He’d been following Benny’s orders.
He smiled, grabbed her hand, and squeezed. Ria leaned back against the seat. She closed her eyes, enjoying the heat of him, the way he rubbed his thumb against her wrist.
When he stopped the car, she sat up and