already blew the biggest meet of your life! Now you have an unbelievable opportunity and you’re blowing it again.”
He stopped his car at the corner, out of sight of her house.
“You’re meant for greatness, Ria. You’ve never been ordinary. You’re not like everyone else. It kills me to think you might miss the chance to do what you were born for.”
“There are other teams. The NDT isn’t the only one.”
“We belong with the NDT.”
He turned toward her and she flinched. His shoulders slumped. He took off his hat, played with it in his hands.
“They’re the best. And so are you.”
That’s all that mattered to him. It’s why he’d claimed her. She suddenly wished she’d been average. Normal.
The NDT was what she’d wanted. What her parents wanted. What everyone wanted. She’d been stupid to hesitate. She never should have let her head get in the way. Fact was, she didn’t belong to herself. She’d already given Benny everything. Her time, her body, her head, her future.
She’d been so wrong to think she had a choice.
“I’ll go,” she said.
“Good.”
Relief at his approval flowed through her. Finally, she could breathe again. This was the prize for a job well done. Success. Acceptance. Things that didn’t exist outside his atmosphere.
Thirty-Six
Friday morning, Ria found Maggie waiting for her in the school parking lot. Ria hadn’t lost her car privileges like she’d expected. Her parents hadn’t been nearly as mad about the car-tow as she’d expected. Apparently misreading a parking sign was a minor offense. They hadn’t even asked many questions about the how or why or who she’d been with. Leaving out the messiest parts of her life was remarkably effortless.
All that mattered was she’d said yes to the NDT. They’d immediately sent the first payment and were planning her move. Once she was cleared by her doctor, they’d buy the plane tickets.
She’d made them—along with Benny—happy, at last. They were thrilled she’d finally gotten the right answer, the one they’d known all along. She was still waiting for her own happy to kick in.
“It’s a beautiful day,” Maggie said as soon as Ria opened her door.
It was true. The sun was shining. The reds, yellows, and oranges of the trees looked vivid against the blue of the sky. There was a hint of crisp cool in the air, but only barely. The sun was making a late-fall rally. The only thing wrong was that Maggie—who used to know her best, her worst, her in-between—had slipped away to a place where she was talking about the weather.
Inside a cave, weather didn’t matter.
Ria cleaned her glasses with her shirt. Now that she was going to be diving 24-7 she could give up her contacts.
“Scale of one to ten, how mad are you?” asked Maggie.
“Off the charts.” She paused for a moment, then added, “Because it’s not worth rating. I’m not mad.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s true. I’m not. Sean and I were broken up—”
“Barely.”
“Both of you were drinking. I get it. Things happened.” She wanted to get out of the car, to put some space between them, but Maggie blocked her exit.
“If you’re not mad at me, then where have you been?”
Caving. Making maps. Kissing Cotton. Nowhere Maggie would recognize. Places and things she had to leave behind.
Maybe if she and Maggie were busy diving, she could find the words to explain where she’d been. There was something about having her body occupied—and her head, too—that allowed truths to flow more freely. Here, with each of them measuring the other, looking for hints, there were too many hazards in the way.
“Did you know there’s a strip club over past Industrial? It has a circus theme.” She eyed Maggie, waiting for a hint that Benny had told her they were leaving. Officially.
“You’re still Random Ria.”
She didn’t feel random.
“Do you want to go to the quarry today?” Maggie asked.
“Why?”
“To go,” she said with a shrug. “There’s some lame college fair all day. We thought the quarry might be a better way to spend the day.”
Ria had been wanting to go back there. The quarry tugged at her mind. Even though it had been such a brief visit the night of that party, it was a place she settled on when she was running, stuck in class, or falling asleep. She wanted to see if her memory was right. She didn’t have much time before she had to leave.
“I don’t need to talk to any colleges. I committed to Uden.”
“Good. That’s what you wanted.” She had to tell Maggie her decision. “I’m going.