Raz with what must be an expression of complete and total shock. He scowls at me again, but that doesn't change what he's just said. I've never come in a girl. Just in case. Because pregnancy means … something. Because, reasons.
With a groan, I snatch the food back. I don't have to worry about silly things like STDs or pregnancy, not with my life on a loop, but Raz does. That's what he's doing now as he looks up at me, worrying.
“Why did you tell Luke that we liked each other?” he asks, lips curving into a small frown. When he reaches up for the red leather mask still sitting on top of his head, I grab his wrist to stop him. If he puts that back on, I may never see him without it again.
The metaphor makes my chest hurt as I try to figure out how to respond.
“You … the way you were raised, I think …” I pause, mulling over my words. “You hurt the things you like. And I'm pretty sure you don't want to like me. You're angry about it.”
“You're everything you want to be while I'm nothing like I want to be.” He pauses and exhales, shoving his hair back from his forehead violently enough that he ends up knocking his mask to the floor. “You know, some part of me wants you to get pregnant.” He flexes his jaw, turning to look back at me with a face as sharp and cunning as a fox's. “Because then I'll be allowed—no, encouraged—to be with you. Otherwise, my dad will never let me have a girl like you.”
My heart jumps at the same time my body heats with anger.
“A girl like me, huh?” I whisper as Raz catches my chin, keeping me from looking away. His fingers are a little too tight, his gaze just this side of too much.
“He would hate you, Karma,” Raz grinds out, his breathing heavy. “I should hate you. And I want to. I want to hate you so bad.”
“But?” I ask, my voice the barest slip of a whisper, like bat wings in the night. The moon catches on the curve of Raz's nose, making his red eyes glow like a devil's.
“But I don't.” He exhales, his breath warm against my lips, tasting like chocolate. The ice cream container rolls off the edge of the bed and onto the floor, likely spattering the drapes with brown droplets.
It doesn't matter.
Nothing matters but for me and Raz.
“I never have, not even when you ratted us out freshman year.” He leans forward, kissing me with harsh lips. His teeth almost hurt. “And then you went and picked Calix. How? How could you pick Calix?” Raz laughs, and the sound is far from pleasant. “All those years and all I wanted was you. Every girl I fucked had your face. Every movement I made, I did for you. But you let his cruelty go and punished me for mine. I'm mad, Karma. I'm righteously pissed.”
“That's …” I start, because what Raz is saying is toxic. He's broken and angry and wrong, but he doesn't know it. All he knows is that I hurt him, and he can't figure out why. My mothers would tell me to run. I should. I should run as far and fast as I can, be glad that Raz is a high school enemy whose memory I can wipe clean after graduation.
Instead, I feel something else entirely.
“I've always liked you,” I whisper, straddling his lap. His hands find my ass, kneading the round curves with ireful fingers. “I wanted you to notice me, but in the right way. You never did. Calix came to me, he …”
“Fuck Calix,” Raz snarls, curling his lip up and breathing heavily beneath me. When I tilt my hips back, I can feel his cock slide between my folds. We both groan as he snatches a handful of my hair to bring my face to his. “Screw motherfucking Calix. Karma, you shouldn't have brought me here if you wanted to see Calix.”
“Why's that?” I whisper before Raz jerks my head back and bites my throat, his other hand caressing my ass.
“Because you gave me a taste of what it'd be like if you were mine.”
Raz encourages me to lift my hips, hitting my opening with his cock. When I sit back, he fills me and I groan, wrapping my arms around his neck. My thigh muscles help me slide myself up and down the