work with. I can work with you if you want to change whatever’s haunting you. I’m happy to help you seven days a week if that’s what it takes, but I can’t if you don’t think you’re ready.” Connie’s mouth was firmly pressed. “That’s option one. Option two is stay silent. Doesn’t bother me in the least—I can sit here all night in companionable silence until you’re prepared to give me an inch. Option three—”
“Walk out the door,” Bodie muttered.
“Which you can. I won’t even stand up to stop you, sweetheart. You’re not a prisoner, you don’t owe me your time, but maybe it’s time to understand you owe yourself a reprieve from the shit holding you back.” Her lips twitched into a slow, wicked grin. “Just don’t forget Braun’s decreed that the blanket must stay here.”
“You are not a normal therapist.”
“Excellent, then my work there is done. I can sit back, relax, and wait for you to come out and play with me.”
Bodie bent over and touched her forehead to her fur-covered knees. It felt so soft against her forehead, it was wonderful. “Talking to you is the only way you’ll leave me alone, isn’t it?”
The chair creaked and weight briefly touched the back of her head before stroking lightly down to her nape. The warmth of the Mistress’s fingers on the sensitive skin was just as nice as the fur. “You’re one of us now, Bodie. Part of our family, however dysfunctional and eccentric we may be. You’re kinda stuck with us.”
She moaned, the sound akin to a dying moose. “Fucking fabulous.”
Connie laughed and the weight on Bodie’s nape lifted. “It really is, though your sarcasm is noted. Come on, sweetheart. Just take a big breath, release it, and let the words do the talking for you.”
Maybe if she just did what Connie wanted, the woman would let her go home without too much embarrassment curdling her stomach. Divulging such things—intimate things—didn’t sit well with her. Not just because she loathed it, but because she felt as though she was betraying Braun by speaking of what they’d done. Which was stupid.
With her body still doubled over, she said quietly, “It was weird, I didn’t like it, and I don’t want to do it again.” Christ on a crutch, my tongue’s gonna go black with all these goddamn lies. “Does that satisfy your curiosity?”
“It’s a solid starting point,” Connie murmured, and the pen leaped back into action. “I’ve not had the pleasure of playing with Braun, but I’ve never heard any complaints about his skills either. Can you explain how it felt weird, Bodie? Did he cause you any pain, nip you, do something to cause you distress?”
Thank God Connie couldn’t see her face. “Why, you gonna give him feedback?”
“Not at all. Nothing we discuss will leave this room. But if he did something to make the experience...unpleasant, it might be worth you telling him what that something was, so he doesn’t do it again.”
“He had his tongue in my...” Fuck, she nearly choked. “In my...goddamn it. He licked me, for fuck’s sake. Licked me like I was something sweet he hadn’t tasted in years.” Sitting up abruptly, she clamped her thighs together as the ache inside her flared. “And then, while I was tied down and out of my goddamn mind, he...he put his fingers in me.” And made me explode into the sky.
“Both of those are common sexual activities, Bodie. Have you never had a lover who brought you to orgasm with his mouth or fingers?”
“No!”
“Just relax, sweetheart. I have to admit I’m a little puzzled. Your body language is consistent with someone who enjoyed the stimulus you’ve reluctantly described, but the rest of you...” Connie sighed and cocked her head, tapping the pen on her lips as she mulled over whatever was brewing in her brain. “Have you ever orgasmed with a partner? Through foreplay or intercourse?”
Shit. The Mistress had picked up the scent and would back Bodie into a corner if she didn’t try to deflect it away from the massive neon behemoth she kept secret. Her laugh was shaky, nervously so, and she winced as she realized she might as well have just tattooed, I’m a big, fat, fucking liar on her forehead. “No, but I read that not every woman does. Not every woman can.”
Sharp gray eyes gleamed. “You read that, huh? That’s very true, especially if your partner is inexperienced or just doesn’t give a damn. I mean, how hard is it