and studied her intently. Then he cupped her cheek with his massive palm. “Never have I raised my hand to a woman in anger, little one. I’m not going to deviate from that with you. My word on it.”
Lip quivering, Bodie felt another chunk of resistance float away. The heat and gentleness of his palm burned inside her, urging her to lean into the caress like a cat. He was making it so easy for her to trust him, and the more time she spent in his company, the more she wanted to sink to her knees and just...give in.
What would it be like to stop fighting? To just surrender and let the fear, the unholy anxiety, pass into his hands? She couldn’t recall a period of time where she didn’t carry that burden around with her wherever she went, every second of her life. Constantly searching her surroundings for her parents, for her past to sneak up behind her and stab her in the back.
Or worse, drag her kicking and screaming back into hell.
“Whatever you’re running from, whatever demons you’re battling with, I can help you, darlin’. We’re all here to help however we can. Being strong is all well and good, but sometimes we get mired in shit too deep to climb out on our own.” Braun sighed and brushed his thumb beneath her eye. “I know the signs of a woman on the brink of snapping, Bodie, and you’re one short step away from tumbling off the cliff. I think you know how close you are to shattering, don’t you, darlin’?”
No, I’m not. I’m stronger than that.
His lips twitched. “Strongest woman of my acquaintance,” he murmured as though she’d spoken aloud, “but not invulnerable. Bet there’s moments where all you want to do is cry, right? Bawl your eyes out until there’s nothing left. You go through periods of time where things seem settled and good, then swing into moods so dark and angry, you scare yourself with how violent you become. And then there’s the days where you think no one loves you, no one cares what happens to you. That no one ever will.”
Bodie stopped breathing. Her heart and lungs constricted in sync with each other, bound up in a giant fist that crushed them into bloody, useless pulp in her chest. The painful truth—because damn him to hell and back, it was the horrible truth—hurt more than anything her parents had ever done to her.
She didn’t want to be loved because she couldn’t be loved.
Vehemently, she shook her head in denial.
“What you haven’t quite grasped yet,” Braun continued relentlessly in that soft, empathetic voice as she fought the urge to cover her ears with her hands, “is that you’re already loved, little one. There are people who care for you, about you. Spend any amount of time here and I have no doubts the Mistresses will have you tucked under their wing, and the Masters will fawn over you. Take a chance, Bodie. Close your eyes and take the leap. We’ll catch you, I promise.”
“Nobody wants to love a crazy person,” she whispered dully.
The noise he made was almost non-human. He stood abruptly, and Bodie silently mourned the loss of his touch. Her wrist and cheek pulsed warmly where his skin had pressed to hers, and she wanted the security of—holy shit, what was he doing?
She squeaked in alarm, wriggling frantically as he plucked her off the chair with strength no man should have. He swung her around, then sat down and arranged her on his lap like an overgrown child. Her ass nestled into his lap; her thighs draped over his. His hand pushed her head into the curve where shoulder met neck. “I don’t usually take matters into my own hands like this, Boadicea, but I’ve never known anyone as conflicted as you are. You are not crazy. You are not unlovable. Why won’t you give me a chance to prove it to you?”
Body rigid, she refused to relax into his hold no matter how wonderful it felt. Maybe she sniffed at his throat—just a little—but only because she liked the scent. He smelled like bergamot and smokey wood. She hummed low in her throat and nuzzled a bit nearer, discovering the smell calmed her ragged nerves.
Braun cradled her, his hand rubbing up and down her arm until, before she realized it, she was snuggling deeper into the warmth of his body. “There we go, darlin’. Takes a bit of time but