used to shiny and flawless.
Sitting on the floor of her still bare apartment, she’d spent long nights researching BDSM and what it meant. Tried to figure out what it meant to her. Made a long and complicated list of pros and cons, then measured it against Braun.
Compared a lonely life against one filled with him.
The Master won hands down, however she looked at it.
His heart beat steadily under her cheek, as dependable as the man it belonged to. He hadn’t given up on her, even when it appeared—no, when she had—given up on him.
No, that wasn’t right either. It wasn’t Braun she’d given up on, it was herself. And there went another chunk of pride as she admitted she thought she wasn’t worthy of fighting for. Her future, her happiness, came second to whoever held control over her life.
Her parents.
Alicia.
Braun.
Liam.
The five people who could make her dance to any tune but her own if they so chose to, and of those five, there were three who would happily see her dance to her grave. Because they could. Because it amused them.
Because she deserved it.
“Not quite there yet, are we?” Fingers nudged her chin up until her blurry vision focused on the face she’d dreamed of in the few hours her body stole every night. “Wondered how long it would take for you to recover from that tempest.”
“You set me up.” Shit, her voice was toast.
“You left me no choice. As far as I was aware, we shared something special—certainly nothing I’ve ever felt before.” His thumb smoothed over her dry lips. “Next thing I know, you’ve taken off without a word and ignore not only me, but every authority figure in the club. How long did you think you’d get away with it?”
Apparently, they were going to go straight at it, Bodie mused. Braun wasn’t shouting at her, but he definitely wasn’t happy with her. Well, he’d have to join the queue—she wasn’t overjoyed with how she’d reacted that night. “I wasn’t trying to get away with anything.”
“Bodie, you’ve been harder to pin down than a greased-up pig at the state fair. Liam’s been pulling his hair out, Jasper’s under the impression you hate him, and I’m wondering what the fuck I did wrong that scared you so damn much you’d pull a stunt like this.”
She waited for her hackles to bristle at his accusation of scaring her, then took a breath when they didn’t so much as twitch. Her inner bitch remained quiet, which was a miracle in itself. “I panicked,” she confessed, and waved goodbye to another piece of her pride. “I wasn’t thinking, and by the time I calmed down...I didn’t know how to get back from where I stranded myself.”
“It was a kiss, little one. I’m assuming that’s the root of the problem.”
The giant root, she thought in disgust. “No one’s ever...that wasn’t just a kiss for me, Braun. It was a fucking epiphany. If we hadn’t stopped, I’d have asked for more. More for me is terrifying. Not just sex, but acquiescing control. I just wanted time to wrap my head around it all.” There, that didn’t sound so bad, did it?
Blue eyes roamed over her face as though sensing a lie. “Did someone hurt you, Bodie?”
A laugh huffed free, sad and dull. “Everyone. One way or another.”
Something dark passed over his features before he schooled them into something more measured. “Anyone you’d like me to beat the shit out of? I’m more than happy to oblige.”
This time her laugh was lighter. She could just imagine her big strong Dom standing up to the monster who was her father without fear; the only problem was she couldn’t bet on who’d win between them.
Braun was a guy who played fair, followed the rules, abided by his code and morals.
Abraham, on the other hand, didn’t know the meaning of fair, abhorred rules and everything they stood for, and his code was that of the streets. His morals were nonexistent. There’d be a blade shived into Braun’s kidneys before he knew what hit him.
“They don’t matter. What’s done is done, it can’t be changed and I’m afraid,” so fucking afraid, “I can’t either. I’m too much trouble, Braun. The hell of my life will leech into yours if you keep trying to take me under your wing. I can’t risk that.”
He grunted. “I’m old enough and stupid enough to make my own decisions on what’s too much trouble, Bodie. And I’m not taking you under my wing—Connie's the