nothing beats feeling lonely like a cuddle.”
She shouldn’t be doing this. The angry side of her paced restlessly inside her head, disgusted by the frank display of weakness. She might as well be laid on her belly, naked ass in the air, and her throat bared for the taking. She’d never been as exposed as she was in this moment.
But the side of her that was dying in increments from loneliness and abuse lapped up every second of his attention. Could it be like this if she went against her gut instincts and offered herself to him?
A sob built in her chest. A huge bubble of emotion rising up her throat, triggering her usual response—throttle it back, swallow it down before tears burned her eyes and her breath hitched.
“No, you don’t, darlin’. Not this time. That shit’s coming out one way or another, and this way, I don’t have to spank it out of you.” Braun pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and his hands stroked and petted. His body was relaxed under hers, rocking her gently. “Once that first painful wave passes, the rest will follow, little one. You’ll feel so much better if you let it go.”
Bodie struggled in his arms but he wouldn’t let go. All the tender caresses and gentle words messed with her self-control, distracting her so the reins slipped through her slippery fingers an inch at a time. She twisted and bucked, terrified by the savage pressure in her head that wouldn’t back the fuck off despite her best attempts to thwart it.
“This is necessary, Bodie. For once in your life, trust someone else to take care of you the way you deserve. Trust me.” He rose from the chair and sat her on the desk briefly.
Her fists pounded on his broad chest, bouncing off the muscles under his shirt until they felt bruised and swollen. The agonizing shriek in her throat wouldn’t shift, choking her. The room around her blurred dangerously with hot, thick tears ready to spill and humiliate her.
Braun’s hands grasped her hips and he hefted her off the desk. Her legs clamped around his waist automatically, her arms coiled around his neck, and she clung to him desperately as she fisted her hands in the soft silk of his shirt. There was no fight left in her when he coaxed her to rest her cheek against his neck, nothing left to stop the crack in the dam from splitting wide open when one big hand patted her back and rubbed slow, firm circles over her shoulders.
He walked with her around the room that way, crooning to her, reassuring her, prying open more and more old wounds inside her already bleeding heart.
The sob burst free with a keening sound that burned her throat.
“Good girl, Bodie. Such a good fucking girl. You’ve been strong for so long, but you don’t have to be, darlin’. Give it all to me now. Let me shoulder the weight for a while.”
She didn’t have a choice; he’d taken it out of her hands.
Somewhere in the ensuing chaos, she silently thanked him for it.
*
The deluge erupted in a cacophony of noise that was barely human. The sounds she made tore holes in his heart and ripped his composure to shreds. Tears soaked his shirt, his skin, within only a minute or two.
How the fuck she’d kept this bottled up inside her for all this time, Braun didn’t know. He sure as hell couldn’t have done it, just as he was positive she couldn’t have continued for much longer. There was so much pain crammed into every inch of her, it was a wonder she could still function like a normal human being.
He could feel her fingers flexing on his back, kneading the muscles in what he could only assume was an act of self-comfort. He didn’t care what she used if it worked to bring her some peace. Hell, he’d even let her beat on him some more—she definitely didn’t hit like a girl, those tiny fists of hers packed a punch.
With Bodie wrapped around him, he strolled around and around the office. Her slim body vibrated under his hands, her slight frame heaving with sobs that almost shook her apart at the seams. Someone needed to take charge over her, take care of her, before this downward spiral landed her in shit.
If she let herself trust him, that would be a damn good start.
“That’s my girl, Bodie. My good, clever girl.” His hands