tell you straight, stop thinking about whatever it is you’re thinking about. Actually, everyone in this room, stop thinking about it. I did something incredibly stupid and I learned my lesson. Don’t pile more guilt on top of what I’m already feeling. I put enough people in danger today. Trey’s hurt because of me. A man’s dead and someone in this room made that happen. I could guess who it was but I know no one will tell me. So whoever it was that took that shot, make no mistake you saved my life. Bishop was going to cast out the devil with that knife. I appreciate you taking that mark on your soul so I could live. That’s guilt I’ll live with because I’m stupid. And if anyone in this room thinks I want to live with the guilt I’ll feel if someone does something else, you are wrong.”
With that, I opened the door and heard my dad and uncles arguing. They immediately stopped and four sets of eyes swung my way.
“Please don’t stop yelling at each other on my account.”
“Honey, you should be resting,” my dad told me.
I didn’t move.
“Hadley. Go back inside.”
“Look at me, Dad.”
“I am, honey. You should be resting.”
Sweet mother of God, I had a whole lot of respect for Quinn and Delaney. If I heard one more person tell me to rest, relax, take a load off, or ask me if I needed something, I was going to scream. I loved how they loved me, but we’d been home less than an hour and I’d heard those things no less than seven hundred times and I wasn’t exaggerating.
“You’re not looking at me.”
“I am—”
“No, Dad, you’re not seeing me because all you’re seeing is your fear. Because if you were truly seeing me, you’d know I was fine. You’d know I’m stronger than what was done to me. You’d remember I’m your daughter and you made me this way. And lastly, if you were looking at me, you’d remember you love me more than anything and that’s including your selfish need to avenge a wrong that was done to me. Now look at me.”
“Hadley—”
“I did not want you to see me like that,” I whispered. “Brady, he loves me a different way. He loves me as a woman. You? You love me as your little girl and I always want to be that to you. I didn’t want you to see me undressed.”
My dad flinched and actually took a step back. Uncle Clark’s hand went to my dad’s shoulder to steady him.
“I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told Brady. I was scared. No doubt about it, I’d never been so scared in my whole life. But I knew Brady would come. I did not want you to come, Dad. I didn’t want Uncle Lenox there. I didn’t want Uncle Clark. I didn’t want Uncle Levi. Not my brother, not Carter or Ethan. Not because I don’t trust you, but because I love you and I knew any of you seeing me like that would destroy you. I knew there’d be no hope of me stopping the rain of fire you all want to ignite. But I’m asking you all to give me this.”
My father made a strangled noise and I knew I was close to talking him down. My dad loved me. And under all that alpha, bossy, protectiveness, he had a soft spot.
“Please don’t make me live with more death on my conscience. Please don’t make me go to sleep every night knowing that because of my stupidity, my father has more marks on his soul. And before you say it, I know you’d gladly take them for me. But you don’t have to because I don’t want you to have them. I don’t want that for my uncles, brother, or cousins. I want to crawl into bed next to Brady and do that free. So one more time, I’m asking you to give me that.”
“Okay, baby girl,” my dad croaked and I ran to him.
He rocked back, wrapped his arms around me, then shoved his face in my neck. Moments later, I felt his big body shake.
Yeah, my dad had a soft spot for his girls.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I swear I’ll never do something like that again.”
He nodded but didn’t lift his head. I knew that wasn’t the last of it. He’d give me a few weeks to get over what happened then he’d ream my ass. They all would.
But first,