chest. There was no fixing what I’d done. No turning back.
I’d lost Hadley.
That wasn’t just fucked, that was agony.
By the time I made it into her kitchen, she had her ass against the cabinets and her destroyed shirt held closed—which I was grateful for but I didn’t think she’d done that for me—and her posture was stiff.
She saw what was coming, therefore she’d braced.
But I hadn’t. When Hadley got in there first, her words felt like bullets tearing through my flesh.
“I suppose this is where you tell me that was a mistake. That you’re sorry, you didn’t mean for it to happen, you never wanted to hurt me, and it will never happen again.” She sucked in a deep breath that kept me pinned in place and when she exhaled, she continued. “Next thing, I suppose, though I’ve never been in this situation so I can’t say for certain, but I’d assume this is where I beg you to stay, tell you that you didn’t hurt me, I don’t think it was a mistake so I don’t regret it, and I want it to happen again.”
Direct. Fucking. Hit.
“Hadley—”
“No, Brady. I’m not gonna beg you for anything. You wanna go, go. You wanna continue to be a coward, be one. You wanna deny what just happened wasn’t great, go right ahead. But you’re not dragging me there. I don’t regret it. I enjoyed it—immensely. I reckon you know you’re good so it won’t come as a surprise to know I’ve never had better. But that’s not why I don’t think it was a mistake. You denying we have something between us isn’t why I think you’re a coward. No, you refusing to reach out and take what I’ve been offering is what makes you one.
“You feel the connection. I know you do. I see it when you look at me. That’s on you. So, you wanna bail, run away, pretend you weren’t into what just happened? There’s the fucking door, don’t let it hit you on the ass on the way out. I know what I want, I know to never settle for anything, but most especially not when it comes to the man in my life. And I want a man who’s all-man, who’s not afraid to fight by my side to make something beautiful. Luckily, I was raised by men who showed me the way, taught me what a real man looks like, so I know. But I was also raised by strong women who taught me to take care of myself.”
Christ, her verbal arsenal was deadly.
“Trust me, honey, if I was the man in your life, you’d be settling.”
“Right.” One word laced with sarcasm and disdain.
“You have no idea what I got buried inside of me. Ugly shit that would only stain all your pretty.”
“You’re right, I don’t know because you won’t tell me and that’s on you, too. Because I’d bear that stain for you. I’d help you carry it until you could find a way to let it go.”
“I shouldn’t have done that—”
“Done what, Brady? Kissed me? Fucked me? Yanked my clothes off, which was the hottest experience of my life? Or maybe you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing right now, blowing smoke up my ass because you feel bad you liked it just as much as I did and you want more of it just like I do.”
She was scoring hits, ones I deserved so I’d take them. But I felt my temper rising with each truth she told.
“Yeah, honey, I liked fucking you. I liked that you were so into it you didn’t bitch when I ripped your clothes off. Fucking loved that you got off on my fingers but you liked my cock more. Seriously loved hearing the sounds you made while your tits bounced and you didn’t complain that I hadn’t bothered to take off your bra. And I liked watching your face when you got off and your tight pussy sucked me dry. All a’ that’s hot as fuck. All a’ that I’d take more of. I’d take it, I’d wreck you, and I’d leave you every time looking like you’re looking right now—hurt and angry. Only, that hurt would grow and I’d leave you ruined. And that anger would grow into resentment. You think I’m a coward? Straight up, Hadley, I want you. But I am man enough to tell you the God’s honest truth—I am not the man for you. I’m fucked-up in a way I won’t ever