that point. He would have died before surrendering that envelope to her unopened.
He tore it open.
Penelope let out a strangled cry and ran from the church.
Colin read the words.
And then he sank to the pew, bloodless, breathless.
“Oh, my God,” he whispered. “Oh, my God.”
By the time Penelope reached the outer steps to St. Bride’s Church, she was hysterical. Or at least as hysterical as she’d ever been. Her breath was coming in short, sharp gasps, tears pricked her eyes, and her heart felt . . .
Well, her heart felt as if it wanted to throw up, if such a thing were possible.
How could he have done this? He’d followed her. Followed her! Why would Colin follow her? What would he have to gain? Why would he—
She suddenly looked around.
“Oh, damn!” she wailed, not caring if anyone heard her. The hack had left. She’d given specific instructions to the driver to wait for her, that she’d only be a minute, but he was nowhere in sight.
Another transgression she could lay at Colin’s door. He’d delayed her inside the church, and now the hack had left, and she was stuck here on the steps of St. Bride’s Church, in the middle of the City of London, so far from her home in Mayfair that she might as well have been in France. People were staring at her and any minute now she was sure to be accosted, because who had ever seen a gently bred lady alone in the City, much less one who was so clearly on the verge of a nervous attack?
Why why why had she been so foolish as to think that he was the perfect man? She’d spent half her life worshiping someone who wasn’t even real. Because the Colin she knew—no, the Colin she’d thought she’d known—clearly didn’t exist. And whoever this man was, she wasn’t even sure she liked him. The man she’d loved so faithfully over the years never would have behaved like this. He wouldn’t have followed her—Oh, very well, he would have, but only to assure himself of her safety. But he wouldn’t have been so cruel, and he certainly wouldn’t have opened her private correspondence.
She had read two pages of his journal, that was true, but they hadn’t been in a sealed envelope!
She sank onto the steps and sat down, the stone cool even through the fabric of her dress. There was little she could do now besides sit here and wait for Colin. Only a fool would take off on foot by herself so far from home. She supposed she could hail a hack on Fleet Street, but what if they were all occupied, and besides, was there really any point in running from Colin? He knew where she lived, and unless she decided to run to the Orkney Islands, she wasn’t likely to escape a confrontation.
She sighed. Colin would probably find her in the Orkneys, seasoned traveler that he was. And she didn’t even want to go to the Orkneys.
She choked back a sob. Now she wasn’t even making sense. Why was she fixated on the Orkney Islands?
And then there was Colin’s voice behind her, clipped and so very cold. “Get up,” was all he said.
She did, not because he’d ordered her to (or at least that was what she told herself), and not because she was afraid of him, but rather because she couldn’t sit on the steps of St. Bride’s forever, and even if she wanted nothing more than to hide herself from Colin for the next six months, at the moment he was her only safe means home.
He jerked his head toward the street. “Into the carriage.”
She went, climbing up as she heard Colin give the driver her address and then instruct him to “take the long way.”
Oh, God.
They’d been moving a good thirty seconds before he handed her the single sheet of paper that had been folded into the envelope she’d left in the church. “I believe this is yours,” he said.
She gulped and looked down, not that she needed to. She already had the words memorized. She’d written and rewritten them so many times the previous night, she didn’t think they’d ever escape her memory.
There is nothing I despise more than a gentleman who thinks it amusing to give a lady a condescending pat on the hand as he murmurs, “It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.” And indeed, because I feel one should always support one’s words with one’s actions, I endeavor