was seventeen. And I’d said some pretty horrid things in there.”
“About horrid people, I’m sure,” he said.
“Well, yes, but still . . .” She closed her eyes as all the memories swam through her head. “They were popular people. Influential people. People who didn’t like me very much. It didn’t really matter that they were horrid if what I said got out. In fact, it would have been worse because they were horrid. I would have been ruined, and I would have ruined my entire family along with me.”
“What happened then? I assume it was his idea to publish.”
Penelope nodded. “Yes. He made all the arrangements with the printer, who in turn found the boys to deliver. And it was his idea to give it away for free for the first two weeks. He said we needed to addict the ton.”
“I was out of the country when the column began,” Colin said, “but I remember my mother and sisters telling me all about it.”
“People grumbled when the newsboys demanded payment after two weeks for free,” Penelope said. “But they all paid.”
“A bright idea on the part of your solicitor,” Colin murmured.
“Yes, he was quite savvy.”
He picked up on her use of the past tense. “Was?”
She nodded sadly. “He passed on a few years ago. But he knew he was ill and so before he died he asked me if I wanted to continue. I suppose I could have stopped then, but I had nothing else in my life, and certainly no marriage prospects.” She looked up quickly. “I don’t mean to—That is to say—”
His lips curved into a self-deprecating smile. “You may scold me all you wish for not having proposed years ago.”
Penelope returned his smile with one of her own. Was it any wonder she loved this man?
“But,” he said rather firmly, “only if you finish the story.”
“Right,” she said, forcing her mind back to the matter at hand. “After Mr—” She looked up hesitantly. “I’m not certain I should say his name.”
Colin knew she was torn between her love and trust for him, and her loyalty to a man who had, in all probability, been a father to her once her own had departed this earth. “It’s all right,” he said softly. “He’s gone. His name doesn’t matter.”
She let out a soft breath. “Thank you,” she said, chewing on her lower lip. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I—”
“I know,” he said reassuringly, squeezing her fingers with his. “If you want to tell me later, that’s fine. And if you don’t, that will be fine as well.”
She nodded, her lips tight at the corners, in that strained expression people get when they are trying hard not to cry. “After he died, I worked directly with the publisher. We set up a system for delivery of the columns, and the payments continued the way they had always been made—into a discreet account in my name.”
Colin sucked in his breath as he thought about how much money she must have made over the years. But how could she have spent it without incurring suspicion? “Did you make any withdrawals?” he asked.
She nodded. “After I’d been working about four years, my great-aunt passed away and left her estate to my mother. My father’s solicitor wrote the will. She didn’t have very much, so we took my money and pretended it was hers.” Penelope’s face brightened slightly as she shook her head in bewilderment. “My mother was surprised. She’d never dreamed Aunt Georgette had been so wealthy. She smiled for months. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It was very kind of you,” Colin said.
Penelope shrugged. “It was the only way I could actually use my money.”
“But you gave it to your mother,” he pointed out.
“She’s my mother,” she said, as if that ought to explain everything. “She supported me. It all trickled down.”
He wanted to say more, but he didn’t. Portia Featherington was Penelope’s mother, and if Penelope wanted to love her, he wasn’t going to stop her.
“Since then,” Penelope said, “I haven’t touched it. Well, not for myself. I’ve given some money to charities.” Her face took on a wry expression. “Anonymously.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, just took the time to think about everything she had done in the last decade, all on her own, all in secret. “If you want the money now,” he finally said, “you should use it. No one will question your suddenly having more funds. You’re a Bridgerton, after all.” He shrugged modestly.