hinges.
“Aren’t you going to say anything to me?” I hate the way my voice breaks.
His silence is killing me, eating away at the last of my hope.
He looks down at the floor. “I’m afraid if I say the wrong thing, you’ll leave.” He’s quiet, like he’s straining to get the words out.
I let go of the breath I’ve been holding but somehow resist the fierce urge to throw myself through this invisible wall between us, straight into his arms. Because I don’t think the electricity between our bodies will be enough this time.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I pushed you.”
“You pushed me away.” He looks up. The dark blue rings around his eyes intensify. “You keep pushing me away. That’s a lot worse.”
“I’m sorry for that too.” The last word gets caught in my throat. The emotion of today returns full force. I swallow hard, trying my best to hold it back. “And I’m sorry for dragging you into my life. You didn’t ask for any of this. I’ve just never felt this way about someone before. I should have kept it to myself. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard for something more.”
He closes his eyes. “Kara.”
“I can’t take it back now. I can’t undo this. And I can’t pretend like I don’t want to be with you when you’re the only person in my life I’ve ever thought about breaking the rules for.” Hot tears roll down my cheeks. I drag in a painful breath and force myself to go on. “With you, I’m me. Even if I can’t show you everything, I feel like you see me. And I don’t want to lose that.”
I choke through a sob. The dam is breaking. I can barely see through the tears.
“I don’t know how much time I have left here, Maximus. All I know is that I want to spend it with you.”
The stone column of his figure softens when he lets go of the door and crosses the threshold. “Come here,” he murmurs before lifting me into his arms.
I curl into his chest as he carries me inside. He kicks the door closed. I don’t bother looking around. All I can do is cinch my arms around his neck and burrow myself tighter against him. As close as I can get. Even as the unrelenting sobs are ripping me apart on the inside.
He hushes me softly and lowers us onto the couch. I’m curled up on his lap, my arms locked around him, afraid to move. I never want to let go. I wish I never had to…
I shudder through another stab of emotion. Everything is bubbling over. Not just from today. From forever. My whole life. Every dream I ever held on to, hoping for a different outcome. A better future. No dream has ever been as perfect as this one.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I whisper.
“You’re not going to lose me,” he says, his voice deep and soothing.
I can almost pretend to believe him when he’s skimming his hands across my back and down my arms. Brushing my tears away. Whispering reassurances against my ear.
But the inevitable truth is seared into me, so painful and real it overwhelms his sweet promises, no matter how badly I want to hear them.
“You don’t understand. They’ll come for me.”
“They’ll have to get through me first, Kara.”
I shake my head, saturating more of his shirt with my tears. “It won’t matter.”
“If I make this my fight, it will. I’m pretty sure I’m a lot stronger than they are.”
I collect myself enough to look up at him. The fresh determination in his stare shouldn’t give me hope, but it does.
“And this is my fight,” he adds.
Except he doesn’t know what he’s up against. He might be stronger. In fact, I know he is. But he doesn’t have the advantage of knowing the enemy as well as I do. And I can’t tell him. Not when my days are numbered anyway.
I glance down at the dark smudges on his shirt. “I made a mess of your shirt.” I wipe frantically at my eyes. As miserable as I am, I wish he wasn’t seeing me like this. I can’t imagine how terrible I must look.
He leans forward, loosening my hold on him so he can tug the garment over his head and toss it aside.
“There. Problem solved.”
His playful grin is already doing something to my insides. When he tucks me back against him, the full contact has my head spinning. Makes me wonder what