hasn’t she?
My scrutiny of her now is helpful in backtracking my mind to our conversation from two weeks ago. I needed to think. She needed to know I was okay. I attempted to sidestep the subject of Kara. But Reg hadn’t.
You really are bound for better than her, you know.
Oh, no. She hadn’t sidestepped a single damn thing. If I’d been watching for it, I would’ve seen it. But I wasn’t. I couldn’t. I was still spun out from my wild hit of touching Kara once more. And getting to press my body to hers, as well. Reg’s subtexts had been lost in my addicted haze. The haze is still there now, but I’ve gotten better at pushing my mind past it. I’ve had to. Never more urgently than in this moment.
“Well?” I press.
I study her gaze, taking note of all its troubled shadows.
“I know more than I want to know,” she says.
“Which means what, exactly?”
“When I first settled in LA, our paths crossed from time to time. For work.”
“Work? Before the store?” I gesture to the shelves that line every visible wall. It’s impossible to comprehend that the inviting ambiance, eclectic book mixture, and timeless coziness haven’t been here for Angelenos since the city was built.
“Oh, yeah,” she explains. “Even before I met Sarah.”
I jump both eyebrows. “Wow.”
“Interesting times.” She dips a small nod. “I was on my own for a little while. And of course, starting a new business isn’t easy or lucrative at first.” Now her reply is surprisingly swift, reminding me of a kid who’s memorized a rote excuse for responding to my exact question. “For a short time, I picked up extra gigs to pay the rent. Things got easier once Sarah came over for a visit and just never left.”
I mirror her soft smile. “So…extra gigs like what?”
“This and that,” she fills in. “Clerical temping mostly. Sometimes clients asked for bookkeeping or errand running too. Mostly jobs that are performed by full-time assistants, accountants, and managerial teams these days.”
“You were a personal assistant for the Valaris?” At once, I jump to the more important question. “And you knew Kara when she was little?”
Reg pivots and wipes feverishly at the spotless tea leaf canisters. “I didn’t say any of that.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“Well, I wasn’t at their beck and call, if that’s your angle.” She goes at the bean grinders—also shiny and pristine—next. “But I wasn’t just there for a few hours of filing each day, either. And before you ask, spending all kinds of time with them wasn’t round-the-clock glam, glitter, and champagne. And before you ask again, I hardly saw any of the children, much less spent meaningful time with them. They were beautiful and happy little things, though. Kara, especially, was the apple of her grandfather’s eye. He was solid blinkered about caring for her himself.”
As she continues to scrub at the grinders, I try imagining Kara as she must have been at that time. Beautiful and happy… And yes, already locking down her first smitten fan. Giovani Valari. The man to whom she’s remained so loyal, in spite of her mother’s disapproval.
And just how the hell had that happened? The family estrangement?
I don’t press Reg for those answers. Hopefully, with the truths Kara is coming here to entrust to me, I’ll learn them directly from the source.
At last, Reg tosses her cleaning rag into a laundry bin and then pins me with her refortified gaze. “Let’s just say that I witnessed enough of the mire to know what I’m talking about here. Enough to know that up on that hill, behind those posh mansion walls, there’s dirt and perfidy that will affect the Valaris for generations to come. I know enough to tell you now, if you insist on continuing to see Kara, then I shall insist on riding you to keep up your guard.”
I lock my gaze to hers. “We’re discreet.”
“Discreet isn’t enough. I mean it, Maximus. You need to be vigilant. Bloody hell. You need to be paranoid. At all times.”
At first, all I do is glug my coffee. The bitter brew burns on its way down, but I welcome the sting. A brutal fusion to reality. Reg has said a whole lot without saying anything. It’s overwhelming.
A mire for generations. Dirt and perfidy, stockpiled in a mansion. Vigilance and paranoia.
How do I tell the woman the total truth now? That every moment with Kara means getting to lower my guard? That no person on this planet has